Change Sucks Less When You Know About This...
Change sucks sometimes. It's hard. It's brutal. It's messy...but it doesn't have to suck so bad. Before we get into making change suck a little less, I think we have to first ask ourselves why so many of us struggle to achieve change. Why is it so difficult for us to just stick to our guns?Guys, it's not your fault. It's your brain's fault.Let me explain...When we try to change any aspect of our lives, resistance unfalteringly steps in our way. Resistance is our mind's defense, released when dealing with the uncomfortable.When faced with difficult emotions or physical challenges, your brain resists, arguing for ignorance, denial, procrastination or a host of other techniques that have you trying to get around discomfort.Your mind doesn't want to change. It likes where it's at right now, even if your health is lacking or you're miserable. Your brain knows what this is like, and even if it's horrible as it is, it's familiar. The unknown is too risky. Best stay how you are so you don't ever experience failure, right?
When this resistance pops up, what it's actually doing is making your long-term situation worse; you're heightening your anxiety because you're circumventing the uncomfortable.
YOU know what you want. YOU know if you have things that need work (we all do), and it's this part of your mind that needs to speak up. If you don't do it now, every time you think of this change you want to make, you'll become more and more anxious. You'll worsen the feeling of need and desperation, which only leads to disastrous results, or what I like to call, "binge-changing."Binge-changing happens when we feel like we NEED to achieve immediate change, and the feelings of desperation that come as a result lead us to seek out shortcuts or to doing too much all at once. We end up simply failing because there is no such thing as a magic pill, or we totally spend ourselves within a matter of weeks or days. We're left depleted and horribly jaded against change. We go back to how we were, resisting the dealing all over again.Binge-changing doesn't prepare you for major life changes. Without spending the time learning how to live your life in a way that supports this change, you won't know what to do to maintain it and worse: you won't feel like you've earned it. You'll end up taking your changes for granted. You'll feel like you can keep doing the same things you were doing, living the same kind of life you were living, and keep these changes.But that's insane. Literally.To change your life, you have to... well... change your life. You have to act differently.If your life is not where you want it to be, chances are you're going to have to deal with something that you're currently ignoring or procrastinating about... and it'll probably suck. Dealing is the key to making change happen. You're not going to achieve the life you want by working around your issues.But let me tell you, if you go about change with determination to deal with the sucky stuff, you will succeed. You will achieve the change you're after if you are committed to taking courage and facing what you haven't yet.There are some very simple steps you can take to choose dealing over ignoring when resistance comes up the next time around, and they may even drain some of the suckage out of the whole process. Here are 3 simple steps you can take in no time when resistance tries to stop you from living the life you want:
Get Present
Ah, mindfulness. It's the element that separates a miserable experience from a bearable one. Without it, your resistance brain is going to go haywire.To get present in seconds, take a simple breath in while asking yourself: "What am I feeling right now, and where is it coming from?"If you have a little extra time, try this 50-second exercise or download the audio version to keep on your phone for easy access.
Acknowledge It
Whatever the resistance is that you're feeling, acknowledge it. Whatever your brain is throwing at you, look it in the face right now.Listen to it. Where's the validity in it, and where's the lie? Is this resistance really serving you?
Remind Yourself of Why
You're putting effort into this for a reason. When resistance pops up, remind yourself of why you're doing it in the first place. Try keeping the following questions close to help root yourself in what's really important:
How will my life be better if I listen to this resistance, or if I push through it?
Will I be happier if I do this, or if I don't?
What action will make me proud and accomplished?
Most likely, answering these questions truthfully will root you back into why this change means so much to you, and your commitment to accomplish it. If it doesn't, maybe this resistance is coming up for the right reasons. There are times when it deserves a good listen....just not most of the time. :)Stay strong,Amy