How To Eat For Fun In A Healthy Way
Not too long ago, I was a warrior against emotional eating in all its forms. I had a whole program devoted to helping people stop emotional eating because it. was. BAD.
Labeling emotional eating as "bad" was what I needed to do in my recovery at the time. It helped me get back in touch with my body and out of both the rigid structure of meal planning and the chaos of eating all the things all the time. I needed to label it "bad" because doing so provided a boundary I didn't know how to set for myself.
Eating for fun was included in that "bad" category because I was eating for a reason other than hunger. After all, "fun" is emotional in nature, and GOD FORBID I FEEL FEELINGS WHILE I EAT.
Eating for fun was off-limits because it meant "being out of control." I wasn't at a point yet where I could trust myself to eat for fun without it turning into an all-out binge.
Now that I'm well into my recovery, I recognize that emotional eating isn't "bad" unless we make it bad. It just is, and there's no moral value on it until we place one on it.
Eating for fun or for comfort is normal, natural, and human, and it's a part of a well-rounded healthy regimen.
Can we say that again for the people in the back? EATING FOR FUN OR COMFORT IS A PART OF A WELL-ROUNDED HEALTHY REGIMEN.
When we forbid ourselves to eat for pleasure, we build a wall within us that blocks an emotional need/craving. Honoring your needs not just physically, but emotionally and mentally is just as big a part of health as honoring your hunger and fullness. Plus, we know what happens when we deny cravings: Binge Town, USA. No thanks!
I say all this knowing full well how effing terrifying it is to eat for fun and let it just be what it is, especially if you're working on getting more in touch with yourself around food. Not to worry: I'm gonna talk you through it.
How To Eat For Fun In A Healthy Way
If you're reading this and aren't sure where to start, don't worry. I've got your back! Below, I'm going to outline a couple different ways to experiment with eating for fun that might feel a little safer than just...going for it.
I'll be speaking to both sides of the equation: people who are primarily restrictors by nature and people who are primarily overeaters by nature. In my SIO Health Essentials course, identifying where you lie on the overeat-restrict spectrum is key to learning how to work with your tendency to find a healthy way of eating for you. We get into it more in depth in the course, but for the purposes of this post, ask yourself: do I tend to restrict/diet more than I overeat, or vice versa? Take your answer and see the corresponding advice below!
Restrictors, Build Some Boundaries
I used to ping pong between restriction and overeating (most of us do), but usually I fell into this restrictor category. I would always come back to the latest diet or fasting routine.
In the very beginning of my journey into eating for fun, I needed to build boundaries around all "out of control" food practices in order to feel safe partaking in them. If you're a restrictor by nature, then this might help you, too.
To start allowing yourself a little fun with your food, try determining how much you feel comfortable eating before you eat it. So instead of going into a bakery and getting overwhelmed with all the options, determine that you'll get one thing and start with just that one thing. It may even help to drive away from the bakery before eating your for-fun food, especially if you have a fear of being out of control.
Putting boundaries around scary foods can help us enjoy them more because boundaries help us feel safe. When we realize that these for-fun foods aren't as scary as we once thought, we can start to loosen those boundaries and actually have more fun eating them!
When instilling boundaries, meet yourself where you are, not where you think you should be.
For example, if eating only 1/4 of a cupcake is what feels safe to you, but you feel you should be able to eat the whole cupcake, start with just the 1/4 cupcake. Making yourself eat the whole cupcake just because you think you should can backfire (different story if you're doing this in a program that has licensed mental health professionals present). Don't feel ashamed that you're not there yet; you'll get there! It's a process that may take some time. Be gentle with yourself and where you're at. What matters is that you're on the path at all!
Eventually, we want to allow ourselves free rein of the for-fun foods, but that may take more work than we have time to do in this post today. I offer a lot more help in my HE course if you're interested in that journey.
For overeaters, the technique is going to be a little different.
Overeaters, Be All About It
I've been in the overeater category quite a few times in my life (I've been deep in both sides of the overeat-restrict spectrum), and I know that putting restrictions on any food was enough to make me throw a tantrum and run away.
The struggle with for-fun foods for overeaters is the shame we feel when we have any food that's not a "diet" or "clean" food. So, we end up binging on foods that make us feel like crap because we think, "If I'm going to feel guilty for having a little, might as well have it all!"
Similar to the restrictor technique, I recommend putting a boundary around what you would like to eat for fun, and then adding a delicious layer of consciousness.
Adding consciousness to the process of eating for fun takes the rush-and-get-it-over-with tornado of shame out of the equation. When we take some time to slow down and actually experience our food, we get to enjoy it and thus, allow it to satisfy our craving (whereas rushing through it and not experiencing it leaves us with the craving even though we ate it already).
How to eat for fun consciously
Decide on the amount of fun food you feel safe eating (see "When instilling boundaries, meet yourself where you are, not where you think you should be" under the last heading.)
Put out the amount of fun food you've decided to eat. Put away the rest.
Take a Mindful Moment: close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and get in touch with what's going on inside. What emotions are you having? How does your body feel? Is there anything else going on that you're thinking about?
Start eating! Take a break every few bites to check in with yourself. Here are some ideas:
How amazing does this taste?
How glorious is it that you're allowing yourself the pleasure of this fun food?
Are you still loving it? If not, do you want to keep eating? (no judgment - just yes or no. This is why we set out the amount to eat in the first place, so that there's no guilt in eating all of it if you want!)
How cool is it that you're standing up to diet culture and actually getting healthier for it?!?!?!
If you're done and you still want more, get in touch with yourself. Ask yourself what you need: an actual meal? emotional release? comfort? Feed the need (whether that means food, self care or something else). If you feed the need and still want the fun food after, come back and have whatever set amount you want using this process. Keep repeating the process until you're satisfied.
The first few times you do this will feel like work. New things often do, right? The more you practice, the more fluid it becomes until it's habit and you're a conscious eater who actually enjoys their food. Enjoying food while it's eaten often leads to a decrease in overeating behaviors. I know it did for me!
Final Thoughts & Clarification
This can all sound pretty scary. The part that makes this less scary is knowing that food isn't the only thing that brings comfort or fun.
With the work we do here together, we learn how to embrace other outlets so that food isn't the only answer.
Food is meant to be enjoyed, but it's not meant to fill the needs that we have for other things like self care, love, creative outlets or emotional release. While it can help with those things temporarily, learning how to feed those needs with what you actually need will serve you better in the long term.
These techniques are what helped me when I first started to allow myself to eat for fun or comfort, but I want to be very clear: I am NOT saying that these techniques are the only way to eat for fun in a healthy way, nor are they the end goal. These techniques serve as baby steps that can open the door to having fun with your food in a healthy way, which will grow into a more robust freedom with food.
Have a little fun with your food, no matter where you're at in your relationship with it. Interpret this as you will whether you use the techniques above or try it on your own. Let yourself off the hook a little bit and have a little fun!
I'm here for your questions or comments if you've got 'em! Just leave them in the comments below or–for a faster response–reach out on Instagram!
To your food freedom,
Amy