Nothing's Wrong When It Feels Right

I'm in Bali!After a day and a half of travel, we finally made it to paradise. I wake up every morning at the crack of dawn to sit on the patio that overlooks the jungle which swallows the hills around us. All is alive. Rich greens, vibrant yellows, morning sounds of roosters, dogs, birds, bugs, and rushing water fill every sense.As I breathe in, I smell damp, woodey smoke from a far-away scheduled burning which will aid in the growth of new crops. The sky is ever-changing; one minute, full of threatening thunderstorm clouds and the next, a light, silky blue, painted with wispy clouds.My real adventure has begun, and it seems surreal.How can I be here now? How is it possible that I have made it to this point when years ago I only ever dreamt of it?

Something must be wrong.

This isn't the life I was supposed to be living.When I started Strong Inside Out just over 2 years ago, I was just a personal trainer, looking to spread my healthy word on the internet in some way. I didn't know what a blog was. I had never traveled outside of the country save for a trip to the UK that my great uncle payed for, and a step into Mexico from a cruise.There must be something wrong because my life now is not at all what I envisioned 2 years ago. This was supposed to happen to somebody else.I'm living with someone else's blessings. I must have stolen them by mistake.Something is wrong.I am not worthy of this life.

STOP

I have a long history of doubting my self-worth, just as many of you may, too. Even when everything feels right and I am blissfully happy, that self-consciousness peeps its head around the corner and makes sure it's heard.If this thinking pattern sounds familiar, you doubt your self worth, too.As I come up on my 30th birthday this weekend, I look back at all I set out to do... and what I've actually accomplished. I raised over $18,000 for a cause that matters deeply to me. I conducted a bootcamp in 30 cities, just as I set out to do, and raised thousands of dollars for a charity that gives kids hope when they need it most. I spoke at World Domination Summit, the very gathering that changed my life 2 years ago.Even with everything I've accomplished, I still look at my blessings and sometimes catch myself anticipating when the pain will come again. I think to myself that it's not fair that I have all of these things to be grateful for in my life as other people struggle....and then I think of where I've been in the 30 years I've left behind.When all was dark, my self-worth was non-existent. I stayed in toxic relationships because I feared no one would ever love me again and I sure as hell didn't feel that love for myself. I hated the way I looked because it wasn't the ideal Los Angeles size 00. I walked into job interviews and auditions, just waiting for them to tell me what was wrong with me and why I didn't deserve the job.Thinking that way about myself caused me to embody those feelings, which projected onto others that I was that person.But I'm not. None of us are.If you feel this way about yourself, I want you to ask yourself why you are less worthy than anyone else on this earth. Why do you deserve less?After answering that question, continue the reflection with this: all the things that you see or read about other people doing are well within your reach.Nothing's wrong with you that prevents greatness. You simply must allow yourself to embrace your worthiness.Inherently, we all are worthy. We are all born as innocent, pure, worthy beauties that have all the opportunity in the world.Why are you different now? Has something happened to you to ruin that decency? To mar that worthiness?No matter what you try to come up with, the answer is simple: no.No matter what has happened to you, nothing is wrong with you. You are worthy of love, internal and external.When I adopted the mindset of YES I CAN this year, worlds opened their doors to me. It is possible to transform your dark, destructive perspective and open up to light and opportunity.It is my hope that you'll read this and maybe a little part of you (or a big part) will open up to the idea that you are worthy, and you can be the person you long to be.When you feel gratitude for your blessings, try not to second guess it. Nothing's wrong. In fact, everything is right.You are blessed. The sooner you realize that you deserve it, the sooner you will enjoy your blessed life!With hope and fire,Amy