Embrace Your Balin-ease: A Beginner's Guide to Letting Go

I'm still in Bali, and I'm loving it. It's so different than the US!One of the biggest differences I've noticed between Balinese and American people is the ability to let go of attachments, even to things that are very special to them.For instance, dogs run free on this island, regardless of owner. Sure, they wear a collar, but they roam the streets and the beaches as they please without leashes. I've seen a total of one leash here in Bali. One!And they almost always come back. I haven't seen one missing dog sign here.I personally think that the Balinese simply understand that things run their course. If the relationship is meant to end, it will. Understanding this allows them to be grateful for things as they are in the present. In other words, they know how to let go.That's not to say that these owners don't love their dogs. I see the affection rained upon them by shop owners and villa managers alike. There is no difference between the canine love here and woof-woof love in the States.But Americans are different with their love. We have a tendency to hold on tight for dear life. We hold our little dogs so close that we even put them in purses to bring with us to the store. We leave them inside our studio apartments so they don't run away, depriving them of a free life that would most likely keep the dog from wanting to run away in the first place.Americans have a very hard time letting go. We fight and fight to hold on to something even if it's not right. Even if destiny is calling them to a different path.We hold on so tight that sometimes we smother the very thing we love so much.Which way is right: Balinese or American? Well, we could have a field day debating the issue about dogs, but we're not here to talk about our furry friends. We're here to talk about what's best for your health and strength.I don't think either way of being is completely wrong or right. I believe that each of them could learn a little something from the other. Since I know many of you reading this struggle with letting go, I'd like to focus on the Bali way today.We Westerners could use a little more of what I'm calling "Balin-ease" in our lives. If we learned how to let go and let be, we could:

• lead healthier relationships by giving the other person the freedom to be who they want to be, and by becoming more independent ourselves
• lessen the blow of loss and heal faster from it by being able to embrace that loss is a part of life and that inevitability may allow us to relax into the cycle of things.
• lessen stress over expectations (holding on to what "should be") because we would have faith in the fact that things will work out, even if it's not the way we thought they would happen.
• enjoy life more by being more grateful for what we have in the present (instead of lamenting about not having enough)

These items are probably at the top of your to-do list if your goal is to lead a happy, low-stress life. I know they are on mine.Letting go is much more difficult to do than to say, but it doesn't mean that–with practice–it can't become a habit just like every other choice we make here.So how does one begin letting go when you've spent your whole life holding on?Consider these values a beginner's guide to letting go, and adopt some Balin-ease into your life. What I do is use these as mantras if I'm starting to feel clingy or anxious about things not going my way. I hope they work as well for you!

1. Trust: what is meant to be will be

Once you accept that things come together often in an un-anticipated way, trust allows you to let go of the stress of forcing it to be. If it's meant to happen, it will. Breathe this in, and move forward.

2. Release: Holding on to an ending keeps you from beginning your next chapter

If you keep fighting the end of something, you keep yourself from A) beginning the healing process, and B) taking the next step in your life. Every ending is a beginning in disguise. Release and be free of the fight.

3. Detach: I can't control everything

I talk about it all the time in terms of fitness, but it is true for other areas of our lives as well. Holding on to an end goal or even a set way of doing things will cause you to freak out if the tiniest thing goes "wrong."Attachment to routine leaves no room for the unexpected... which will come whether you like it or not. Be flexible.

Let go of that extra opportunity you had this weekend.

Let go of your need to check off every item on your to-do list every day.

Let go of the need to have things any certain way.

Detach from the idea that things must be one way, and allow for the spontaneous acts of life.Just go with it. See what happens.

4. Faith: things will work out

Often times, life throws us what we least expect. Something you thought would last forever abruptly ends.I'd like to suggest that you actually hold on to something here, but hopefully by doing so, it will help you let go.I urge you to hold on to the faith that things will work out, even if it's not the way you initially envisioned. When all seems lost and nothing makes sense, that is a sign that change is here, and change is something to be welcomed into our lives.You can't imagine the blessings you have coming! You can't predict the kind of life you will be leading just one year from now!Have faith always. It is in you.*****Though many of you may be arguing for holding on at this point, I want to ask you to just consider adopting one of these values and trying the mantra out for a week. If it doesn't stick, let it go.... and then you're embodying the principle anyway! Tricky, eh?Just know that you don't have to travel to Bali to experience the Balin-ease. You can create it within you right now if you choose it.Breathe. Trust. Release.Stay strong,AmyP.S. The picture in this post is courtesy of a wonderful photographer I met here in Bali named Kirsty McPhee. She's been traveling all over the world for the last 6 months! You can check out more of her pictures and her travel blog, A Journey Captured, by clicking here.