5 Ways to Remind Yourself You're Worthy When Depression Hits
Daylight Savings Time just hit in most of the U.S., and it affects us depressives like WHOA.Around this time, a lot of us start to feel the fingers of depression creeping into our psyches, trying to convince us we're not worthy of seeking help, comfort or healing. It tries to tell us we're beyond help and that action is futile, so we might as well stay in bed.This voice is not you; it's a force that tries to keep you slave to the darkness.I've never been one to sit back and let others tell me what to do. Even if you have, you've got the choice right here and now to act differently this time.
So what'll it be: slave to the darkness, or warriors for our light?
That's what I thought. Let's get 'em, Sailor Strongie.You've got to remind yourself just how worthy you are even when the depression is screaming the opposite at you. You get to choose how you act in the face of it. To help remind you of your infallible worthiness, I've put together a few reminders to get you back in a loving space.Here are 5 ways to remind yourself you're worthy when depression hits...
1. What would you say to your best friend?
Whenever I start feeling like I'm so special that I don't deserve what other human beings deserve, I take myself out of the equation and ask myself: if my best friend said the things I'm thinking to me, would I tell her she's unworthy?Most likely, your answer is "Hellllllll no," right?It's my belief that all human beings are worthy of love and acceptance no matter their "flaws," opinions or even actions. No one is so terrible that they don't deserve help. I understand that this is a philosophical debate, but chances are you're not the example that some might use as the "exception;" you probably haven't done anything worthy of life imprisonment.If you believe your best friend would still be worthy, then why wouldn't you be? What's so fundamentally different about you that strips you of your worth?It could be helpful to explore this in a journal entry or talking it through with someone you trust (who won't impose their opinions upon you).
2. You're not a burden.
If you found out that your daughter, niece or best friend was suffering in silence, how would you feel?Would you want to be there for them? Wouldn't you want them to feel better? Would you tell them they're not worthy because they feel this way?This one builds off #1, but it stands on its own because we often use the fear of being a burden to justify staying silent about our struggle.There are people in your life who want to help, even though depression will tell you they don't. Remind yourself of how you'd want to be there for the people who matter in your life and remember that they care that much for you, too.That said, not everyone is great to talk to about this stuff. Choose people who you trust or professionals to make sure you are fully supported.
3. Healers become healers to help people like you.
The people who elect to become supporters - counselors, therapists, social workers, coaches, etc. - go into their profession specifically to help people just like you.When we put off getting professional help, we're not doing anyone any favors, least of all ourselves.The main 2 fears I hear from readers is: "I don't think they'll be able to help me," or "I've had a bad experience that's put me off therapy."Both of those fears are valid. It's a scary thing to open up for the first time. Let's address the first fear first.
FEAR #1: "I don't think they'll be able to help me"
...but what if they can? You won't know if you never try. If it doesn't work, you either find someone new or decide therapy isn't for you (I'd hope for the former!). It's worth the money if it helps you get through life with more understanding and awareness of what's holding you back from peace.
FEAR #2: "I've had a bad experience that's put me off therapy."
I've had bad ice cream, been to primary doctors that had NO bedside manner and been in friendships that didn't work out.Just because I've had bad experiences with all of those things doesn't mean I'll never try another one again. An ice cream-free life is not one I'd ever choose!!!Healers are human beings with very different personalities, approaches and energies. If one didn't work out for you, that doesn't mean no therapist ever will.Out of the 8 therapists I've seen in my lifetime, I've liked 3 of them. THREE.Just like with relationships, you don't have to marry the first person you meet. You get to shop around. You get to "date" a few before you decide who you want to stick with for a while. And even then, you don't have to commit to a lifetime relationship with that person.Please let yourself off the hook. When we use fear as evidence that we're unworthy of help, we're validating the darkness. Blaming one person who didn't work out for you is keeping you from healing. Don't let the darkness win.
4. There are no flawless stories.
Go with me on a journey: A hero is born. She has the perfect childhood and nothing bad ever happens to her. She is "flawless." The end.I would demand my money back for that book. You'd feel jipped, right?Strength requires struggle. You can't be the hero without having situations to fight through.This depression and/or anxiety you have could be a universal assignment: something you've been given to develop into who you're meant to be. What if this is your chance to discover what being a hero truly is? What if this is the thing you get to rise up from?While this doesn't make the pain any less painful, it helps me to remind myself that the struggles that I go through are meant to teach me something - every single one of them. They're each a chance for me to get stronger.
5. You are not your depression.
A lot of us depressives feel like our depression makes us less worthy individuals. We feel like we've got this "flaw" that keeps us from being whole human beings.Depression isn't you; it's something that happens to you.Would you say a person with cancer was less worthy than someone without it? Would you say a child born with a debilitating physical ailment would be less worthy than a healthy one?Depression is an illness just like cancer or any other physical ailment. It is not who you are. It does not get to determine your worth.
You're worth fighting for
When depression takes over, you have a choice. You can sink into it, or you can take mindful action to gently rise up out of it.The rise won't happen overnight; it takes time to release the grip it has on you. Slowly, one step at a time, it will.Please don't let depression steal your light from us. You've been brought here for a reason. Please don't deprive us of that gift. You're worth the work it takes to find peace again.Stay strong,Amy
To celebrate our announcement for Activate Courage, Kate Marolt and I are hosting a Facebook Live every Monday in November at 3:30 PM Pacific Time! Join us as we cover different aspects of courage every week in an open discussion format; we want to hear from you!Join us to:
- get inspired and motivated even if it's hibernation season
- shift your mindset into an empowered space
- learn practical tools to bring more courage into your life
- feel less alone - Kate and I have both felt powerless and out of control. We hope to share the processes that have helped us step into our courage so you can step into yours!
We want to hear exactly what courage means to you, and help you through whatever holds you back from a courageous life. Click here to join us on Facebook at 3:30 PM Pacific Time every Monday in November!