The Race to Happiness: Start The Inspiration Cycle
Walking out of my apartment building on Sunday morning was an eerie experience.It wasn't that early. It was about 9 am.Yet there was NO ONE on the street. Usually, our street is packed with cars. You're lucky to find even one space open on a Sunday.
But today was the 27th Annual LA Marathon, and there was no parking allowed on any street close to San Vicente in Brentwood, Los Angeles.
We walked down to the gym and passed some of the very first runners at mile 22.The weather was much better than expected: sunny and chilly rather than windy, rainy and cold. The ominous clouds and icy gusts of wind kindly held out until the majority of the racers had finished.After our workout, we walked to breakfast at a nearby cafe and sat near the window so I could watch all the runners.As the crowd grew, so did the smiles. The congeniality between spectators was warm and exciting; it always is. Everyone was there for one purpose: to support the runners.I watched a woman holding a sign in Japanese. She was there before our workout, and here I sat watching her from the cafe window an hour later.She cheered all the runners on in a generally encouraging way as they passed. Her eyes searching every one of them for a familiar face.About 20 minutes after our breakfast arrived, she saw him.The runner was a well-built Japanese man, early 30's. When they caught sight of each other, there was no one else out there.It was her, waving her sign like crazy, mouth wide in an enthusiastic cheer. Him, a bit embarassed, but obviously proud that he had come so far and grateful to see her standing there just for him.He cut out from the steady flow of runners to clasp hands with her for a few seconds, exchanging loving words with the woman that I couldn't hear from behind the glass. After a few squat-like bounces and encouraging words from the woman, he shot off again, waving and looking back, grinning and glowing.The scene brought tears to my eyes. And I experienced many other displays of love, support and encouragement throughout the day as we walked to the farmer's market and back alongside the stream of runners.It got me thinking about how everyone was feeling this same sense of overall encouragement. This amazing force of support emanated from the spectators and had an energizing effect on each of the runners.No matter how dejected any of them looked, a simple high five could coax a smile out of the ones that seemed ready to give up. The act of reading a runner's bib and cheering for them by name was enough to get a walker jogging again.There was no favoritism from the spectators: whether the participant was walking, jogging, sprinting, or just about to stop, the crowd was there for them unconditionally.I remember when I did my half marathon, I knew only 4 people in the crowd of hundreds, yet felt supported and encouraged by them all. The race atmosphere is one that is difficult to match: an immense, positive energy that exudes from crowds of people all focused on unconditionally encouraging and supporting another crowd of people that are working toward one goal.
How can we simulate that same race day feeling with everyone we come into contact with?
How can we take this same idea of race-day inspiration and use it to inspire people toward the life goal of happiness?
Being able to recreate that environment for the people around us would inspire the best in everyone.Tell me the truth: when you watch a race, don't you feel inspired to race one yourself?Motivation breeds inspiration, and inspiration begets further and grander inspiration.I see it everyday. My job, as a personal trainer and wellness coach, is to motivate, encourage, and inspire people to be their best every day.One of the benefits of this job is this phenomenon: my clients become my own inspiration.There is no way that you can watch and guide someone to achieve their dreams without getting pumped up yourself.Imagine a life in which inspiration occurs in a constant cycle: those whom you interact with everyday feeding you encouragement, and your successes feeding their motivation in the most positive way!Now, why–you may ask–would you want to offer all of this encouragement and support when you're not sure to get it back in return?Because I believe you WILL get it back. I believe that we receive what we put out into the world (yes, I'm a hippie), so if you want to be supported and encouraged, you must give the same to others.Think about a friend who constantly supports you. Don't you feel the urge to support her and feed her as much positivity as she bestows upon you?And vice versa: when a "friend" constantly tears you down or fails to hold up her end of the friend bargain, don't you want to hold your encouraging efforts for someone else?
People want to be inspired, so they are attracted to those who are inspiring.
When you make the choice to be that source of motivation, you are deciding to start the inspiration cycle. You are taking action to create happiness and success around you.It is our choice to live as we see fit.Will you choose to support and allow others to inspire you, or will you lie back and hope that someone chooses to support you?I think you know that I would most definitely promote the route that inspires action rather than inaction....Because there's no reason to wait to get inspired when you can create your own.
We can make race day every day. We can make our society a safe place to create, support, fail, and succeed if we choose to unconditionally support each other's good intentions.
Does this sound like a good deal to you, but aren't quite sure where to start?Don't worry: I've got you covered.Here are some tips that you can start using now to both support others in times of need and to become that source of inspiration that starts the cycle:
Truly Listen
I can't value enough the act of truly listening to someone that needs it. Sometimes, that's all they really need to do: vent.Many people say they're good listeners, when in fact, they just wait for a chance to talk.What does it mean to be a good listener?
Silence: you must hear what they say without trying to talk through it or offer your opinions before they finish.
Evaluation: you must hear how they tell it and listen for their feelings of the situation.
Empathy: you must put yourself in their shoes (more on this in the next section).
Without truly listening, your chances of being able to help the person are minute. Allow them to tell you the full story and listen to the way they say it. What emotions are they going through as they recount this to you? Are there parts of it in which their emotions flare?By paying close attention, the following tips fall into place without much effort.
Put Yourself In Their Shoes
Being able to empathize with those around you will allow you to truly help them, and to learn from their experiences for your own life.Even if your motivation is to avoid this pain in your own life, your most effective strategy will be to think as if you were in the situation yourself, and provide actionable steps to deal with it from there.Some of the worst advice comes from people that place themselves outside of the situation, looking in. They offer up what they think should be said, and don't bother to think how much it will truly affect the person they are advising.Feel what that person feels for a second. What would you do?
Ask Yourself: What Does This Person Need To Succeed Right Now?
Now that you are thinking as them, ask yourself what they need right now.There won't always be one answer. There are usually at least a couple of options.Talk them over with the person. You might have thought of something that they hadn't considered until now.Maybe you'll come to the conclusion that all they need is an ear and a shoulder to lean on at the moment.Sometimes I'll even ask, "What can I do to help you right now?" or "What do you want from me?" <-- that sounds meaner than the way I say it. ;)Even clarifying this out loud can get the person to step back and ask themselves the same thing. They may have the answer already within them.
How Can You Help?
Offer it if you can! If it's out of your scope of expertise, simply let them know that you are there for them. Either way, you are actively supporting someone else on their way to happiness.Now it's time to become the inspiration you want to feel and promote in others...
Tips to becoming the inspiration-starter:
Speak From The Heart
Strive to speak unapologetically and unabashadly from your passionate, loving self.
Share Your Light
Smile.Invite others in.Live your life as an example so that you don't look back later and wish you had.
Create What You Are Inspired By
One of the most inspiring things is seeing someone live a life that they have made from a dream.I look at some of my favorite bloggers that have made their lives into an adventure, and I am in awe.They inspire me to be more inspirational.That's what this cycle is all about:
inspiration
becoming life
that inspires others.
When we realize that the purpose of the race is not to beat each other, but instead, to help each other become our own, personal best, happiness becomes easily attainable. In fact, I would find it hard to avoid happiness if our world was based around this principle!I know this sounds grandiose, but I challenge someone to argue with me on this. I am interested to hear if you have a conflicting view or think that this is hippie-dippy nonsense. Write in the comments below (keep in mind that it should be tasteful, not plain mean please).
Where do you stand in the inspiration cycle?
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