Mantras to Lighten The Darkness
It's an exciting, yet emotional time of year.It's back to school for students everywhere and with the new Strong Inside Out Bootcamp (now closed), I can definitely empathize with the teachers! There's so much to get together, learning as you go.It's been a whirlwind of a launch and I can honestly say that I am floored by the involvement from Bootcampers already. We already have a supportive, open and honest thriving Facebook Group helping people through their struggles. It's just amazing watching this dream of mine come to fruition. It is my hope that this program is the bridge that helps people integrate movement–both metaphorical and physical–into their lives, no matter how "stuck" they feel.It's also National Suicide Prevention Week, which always brings with it a lot of mixed emotions. It's a week that makes me reflect on the past and look to the future, eager in anticipation of the lives I hope to touch.The teacher and creator I am today is bred from amazing teachers that have touched my life along the way. I consider myself extremely lucky to have learned about fitness through some incredibly inspirational mentors. Some pulled me through tough times, others pushed me to fight through them, and others still taught me how to relax into the chaos of life, knowing that it would all pass. Using the lessons I learned from my favorite teachers, I was able to swim to the surface and out of the constant waves of depression, unrelentingly crashing, smothering, suffocating me.In the light of both National Suicide Prevention Week and a time when many of us are dragging our feet back to school, I want to share with you my favorite teachers' philosophies, mantras and advice that I've learned along the way since I discovered movement as my outlet.No matter your struggle, there's inspiration in here for you. I hope you find a little light in these mantras for depression and anxiety...
This, Too, Shall Pass
One of my very first instructors taught one of the most kick-ass kickboxing cardio classes I have ever taken. Every class I've ever taught is influenced by his.I met Tom J. Deters when I first started working out, when my life started going to pieces. It's a little-known fact, but I actually did go to the gym before I ended up in the hospital; I just didn't go consistently, and I used my workouts as a punishment for my body, not as an outlet or reward.One day, after a horrible breakup, I made it to the gym. I was really quiet back then about my struggle, and had really bad self-worth issues. I never thought anyone noticed me, let alone my favorite teacher. I never stuck around at the end of class because I didn't want to waste the teacher's time.Despite my terrible self-esteem, I remember packing up my few things in the studio that day, and feeling unable to shake the feeling that I needed to talk to Tom. There was so much anarchy inside me and for some reason, I felt like the only person I could talk to at that moment was him. So I waited until he was finished talking to the other class participants, and approached him.He turned to me, and looked into my eyes, and I just started balling. Everything poured out of me: the breakup I just went through, how hard a time I was having, everything I could get out between sobs. I don't know if the exercise made me more open or if I was just at my breaking point.When I looked back up at him, he had tears in his eyes. He hugged me so hard and told me that he understood, that he'd been there in a divorce a few years back, but that it had led him to meet the love of his life. I remember hearing that and feeling a shard of hope pierce through my dark cloud for a split second before my negative thought cycle stitched the darkness back together again, eliminating any light there might have been.
He grabbed my shoulders and looked in my eyes as he said, "This, too, shall pass."
Believe it or not, this was the first time I'd heard this mantra. I now know it to be from the Bible, but I didn't grow up religious, so I took it at face value without any connotations otherwise.The thought gave me peace from that point on, though unfortunately it took me a few years to start using it regularly. Now, I use it regularly and attempt to teach it to others to reassure them in hard times. Obviously, it's hard to adopt and accept this in the moment of pain because in the face of such intensity, it's incredibly difficult to see anything in the darkness. But if you can, if you try, it might alleviate just a little of the burden that struggle brings to the table.
I can and I will
Another mantra that I didn't know how to use until years after I started saying it was one I learned from Tom.His classes were HARD. All capital letters HARD. The kind that burns out your quads and leaves you scrambling for breath. You know, the best kind. ;)In the most intense parts of class when we were doing punching and kicking sequences without rest, Tom would yell out, "I can and I will, I can and I will, I CAN AND I WILL!!!" while doing the most impressive kickboxing moves in front of class. Even when I didn't know the power of mantras yet, I was able to release my focus into these words and allow them to power me through. I'd push harder when I embraced them as my reality, and I left class feeling proud of myself.Years later, when I was going through recovery, I up-cycled this mantra into my life philosophy. Not only did I use it in my workouts, but I began to use it to fight against the voice in my brain that told me I couldn't fight the depression and anxiety. The more I breathed into the words, the deeper I let them settle into my core and radiate strength through my body and mind, the less power was left over for the defeatist thoughts.Slowly, this mantra helped me work my way out of accepting my "life sentence," and into creating my own rules. I still use this when I start new projects that scare me.
Speak with Purpose
My training guru is hands-down Yaw Owusu Jr. of Peak Performance. Though there have been other mentor trainers who have been a part of my life as a coach, few of them have had as profound an effect as Yaw has on my style and priorities.When I first met Yaw, he intimidated me. I was the trainer who emphasized fun cardio-class-like workouts with my clients because hey, most of my clients wanted to lose weight. He was the one teaching ladder drills and having his women clients doing sandbag cleans and getting clients into fitness competitions.It wasn't until he started training other trainers and getting them into nonsense shape that I started to consider his format of training. It was completely unknown to me. I'd never been one for sports, and most of the things he had people doing looked like workouts designed for NFL players (which they probably were- Yaw was on his way to play pro before derailed by an injury).I decided to try training with him. He offered a "trainer discount" because he was learning how to best teach other trainers while he got Peak Performance (a certification for trainers). He started me on a corrective routine that fixed my hip flexor tightness, gave me a butt despite my Asian disposition (no offense, other Asians!) and got me to start thinking very differently about the way that I trained my clients.When I sat down to talk with him about the way I train others, he said to me:
"Teach with purpose. Every move you give someone should be for a reason. I see you doing fun things with your clients, but why not use fun moves that address and correct imbalances?"
It was something I honestly should have been thinking from the very beginning of my training career, but it's fueled my programming ever since. I became a Corrective Exercise Specialist on his birthday a few years ago, and got my Precision Nutrition Certification on his recommendation. He's the one I reach out to if I have questions about preparation for photo or video shoots, and he's been a huge encouragement in the growth of Strong Inside Out.Every program I make for clients now involves moves picked specifically for them to address their imbalances and/or goals.Every time you speak, you teach. You're teaching the person you're speaking to how you feel about them. You're teaching them how to treat you. You're teaching them with the information you're giving them. Every word is a lesson.To "teach with purpose" is to speak with purpose. Know that your words have power in them. If you "teach" without purpose, who knows where you'll end up? If you're going to speak, direct it somewhere.
Where Are You? Here. What Time Is It? Now.
My most recent fitness mentor is an amazing San Diego-based yoga teacher that emanates love wherever he goes. His super-sweaty hot yoga classes are judgment-free zones that welcome all levels. He inspired the theme of this year's Strong Inside Out Tour: Who Are You Fighting For?Every child's pose is coveted in Andre Houle's Hot Vinyasa classes. The pose only comes along every 20 minutes or so (of course, you can always take it as needed), and everyone hits it with an audible sigh of relief.As we lie there, slowing our breaths and trying to convince our minds that no, in fact we will not die of heat exhaustion, Andre grounds us...
"Where Are You?" he asks.
"Here," replies the group.
"What time is it?" he continues.
"Now," we surrender.
This call and response never fails to root me in the present. When I felt how powerful it could be to have participants vocalize their mantras in the middle of a class, I decided to incorporate it into the Tour workout as well. Every time I feel my group struggling, the anger shooting out of their eyes right into mine, I have them take a breath and remind me who they're fighting for."Me!!!" they scream, releasing the aggression and embracing the choice that they're making in every moment to keep going.It is because of these teachers and the gifts they've given me–consciously or not–that I am the teacher I am today. That I am alive and fighting today. I can only hope that my class can inspire someone else the way these teachers have done for me.No matter what your struggle, there is a reason you are here, even if it hasn't revealed itself yet. Please never forget how important you are. Stay, and it will all make sense.Thank you all for being my reason,AmyP.S. Do you want to show your support for National Suicide Prevention Week? Show your support across social media with the NSPW social media assets from To Write Love On Her Arms here.