Lessons from The 30x30 Project Tour: Cities 14-16

lessonsfrom30x3014-16This post is part of the Lessons from The 30x30 Project Tour series. If you missed the previous ones, check out part 1, part 2, and part 3 to catch up.Ok, honest truth? This run I'm about to delve into had a smashing beginning, and a disheartening ending. I struggled a bit on this leg.Thank God for the people I met along the way. I'll tell you, the beauty of 30x30 supporters shone through in every city.

Nashville: Give YOU

The minute I drove out of the airport, I fell in love with Nashville.Even on the freeway, it was beautiful, surrounded by lush greens and beautiful stone. There was a storm brewing, and it felt different than any weather I've experienced. Warm, humid and filled with anticipation.When I arrived at my airbnb, I was even more thrilled.In a residential area near Vanderbilt University, the house I was staying in was walking distance to coffee shops, an independent book store and some good, healthy food. I was in a little Southern Heaven. :)Everyone I came in contact with was extremely kind and open. Cashiers struck up conversations at cash registers even when there was a line. The people behind me would chime in with smiles.nashville2I arrived at lululemon athletica Nashville at 5:30 am on a Thursday morning to be greeted by some of the kindest girls I've met along the tour. We cleared the floors together and waited for people to show up.At 5:55, there were 3 people there.Uh oh. No expectations. No expectations, I repeated to myself.I was determined to teach my heart out no matter how many people showed up.The girls that were there were so enthusiastic and welcoming that I was excited even if it turned out to be just them.

Just give YOU, I thought.

At 5:59, I swear, 12 people ran in the door. It was like magic! We had one of the best bootcamps along the tour and, at the end, the lulu girls announced that the store would be making a $200 donation to TWLOHA! I was moved to near tears.nashville1The storm waited until after the bootcamp to unleash its fury. Man, it was intense! I loved it!That night, I ran through the angry sheets of rain from my rental car to The Movement Meetup location at one of my favorite coffee shops along the tour, The Well. They're a nonprofit coffeehouse that gives proceeds to communities in need, their slogan being "Where Coffee Changes Lives."My ideal coffeehouse? Why, I do declare. But wait, there's more...While I was chatting with the super awesome attendees, Christina and Tim, there was live music being played on stage. It was above and beyond the best acoustic I've heard in quite a while. In fact, I kind of felt bad chatting while they were playing.The musicians on stage had beautiful voices. Even with the chatting going on within the cafe, they sang from a place of rawness and beauty. They gave themselves to us in a form as pure as they could, regardless of who was listening, and that's why it was hard to tear myself away from them and focus on the meetup.When people give as much of theirselves as they can, it's a beautiful thing.

There is a certain power that comes with giving YOU.

Unleashing that storm inside brings confidence. It breeds strength.People ask me how I get up in front of groups of people and speak about my story. They say, "I'd never be that confident," or "I would never be able to do that; I'm too shy."Here's a secret: I was shy, too. It took a long time focusing on giving ME to find that place of confidence to be able to speak in front of others.All you can give is YOU. You literally can't give more than that.Confidence, by definition, is assurance of self. The most direct way to show that is to present your SELF to others without fear. The fear is what most people have trouble with.This fear comes from a place of rejection. But think about this: if someone rejects you for who you are, do you want them in your life?It's not easy to think about, rejection. It can be heartbreaking if you care about the person.Is it possible, though, to look at the possibility of heartbreak knowing that it must happen so that you may move forward to a fuller heart? Is it possible that you can shift your perspective to see this temporary pain as a means to an end?It is, and it can be done in an instant and reinforced with practice.Give the pure, raw YOU and you will have something to be proud of.To fear rejection of your self is to fear life itself. The truth is that not everyone here on Earth will be a fan of yours, and that's the way it should be. You can't expect to go into a room and please everyone. That's an objective that's doomed to failure.Your real fans, the ones who will fight for you, are the ones who resonate with your true being. That's what makes a stellar artist. That's what makes a powerful person.If your heart gets broken in the process of giving you, so be it. Better to have experienced a broken heart to get a full one, than to never have used your heart at all.

Atlanta: Back Up

Ah, Atlanta. Sunshine, allergies and traffic would sum up how I feel about ATL. Sorry, guys!When I arrived at my C-grade airbnb after an hour of driving from the airport, I settled in to work on my laptop. I was updating Facebook with some pictures from Pinterest by 1st saving them to the desktop, then uploading them to Facebook. I would eventually delete all the random things on my desktop... one day.My editor of the 30x30 video always got so annoyed that my desktop was so full of everything. It's the way I've always been: obsessive-compulsively messy. I know exactly where everything is in my mess. :)When I was done, I closed my computer and went off to run some errands and grab some grub. Thank God for the Trader Joe's right down the street.The next day, I arrived at lululemon athletica Shops Around Lenox a half hour early to set up and was greeted by the bubbly Annie who helped me set up and pumped me up for an awesome class.ATLbootcampWe had a small, powerful class that day, and I can say honestly that I had a ton of fun working off the cries of pain in the group. ;)What really plucked my heart strings was the fact that most everyone who showed up in ATL drove over an hour to get there!Jenny and Fin came from Alabama, over 3 hours drive to the bootcamp! David and Chrissie from an hour away.My friend, Matthew Ryan Andrews, came out and let it all out! It was great to have your support, Matthew. Thank you.The Movement Meetup afterwards was an extremely productive one. We came out with a 5k for TWLOHA, action steps toward a lifelong dream, and one epic goodwill adventure I hope to tell you about very soon from these participants.atlantagroupI always send Movement Meetup participants emails with specific action steps to their personal movement goals, so I propped open my laptop to get typing. That's when my screen started doing something quite odd.The finder started bobbing up and down like it was updating, even though I wasn't using it. Then a popup started flashing with some kind of error that the finder couldn't show previews of the desktop. Every time I x'ed it out, it popped right back up.Hmmmm, that's annoying, I thought to myself. Luckily, I could still use the browser while that split face icon bounced its way onto my every nerve.When I couldn't find a way to stop it after an hour, and my desktop wouldn't let me open anything, I made an appointment at the Apple store."I've never seen this before," is never what you want to hear from someone who looks at broken computers all day long, but alas, it's what I heard from the Apple genius that day.He ended up having to put everything from my desktop into a folder that I have not yet been able to open (it crashes every time I do).Know what was on my desktop? EVERYTHING.My 30x30 video files. My pictures from the campaign. My training files."Did you backup before coming in?" the Genius asked at one point."I thought about it," I muttered. It's true. I'd upgraded dropbox to do just that a week ago, and I hadn't done it.I left the mall with a dark cloud hanging over my head, thinking of all the things I should have done."Stupid!" I chastised myself. "How long have you been telling yourself you should do that?! Look what happens when you don't do simple things that will keep you from a whole world of pain."STOP, my rational voice halted me in my tracks. What are the facts of this situation?I took a deep breath and looked at them:

  • What happened sucked.
  • There was nothing I could do about it now except hope to find someone who I could pay to fix it (Apple couldn't; I'd have to go to a specialist)
  • I could beat myself up which would lead me nowhere, or I could look for the lesson in it.

It took more consideration than it should have with the funk I was in, but I settled on the choice to look at the lesson in this. From now on, I would back up my files. I would not keep so much crap on my desktop (or on my poor busy MacBook, period). I would not let this ruin the rest of my tour.Did I need those files in this moment? Thankfully, no. What good was it going to do me to worry about something I couldn't change for at least the next couple of weeks? None.So I wrapped up that worry all neat and tidy and backed it up in my mental DropBox.We can get so caught up in all the things we didn't do, that we should have done. We look at how our lives would be better if only...What kind of life are you living if you're always looking back at what should have been done?I know people like this. They're always down. You have to reassure them at every turn that they're making the right choice because they're always looking at the wrong choices they've made. They're afraid of moving forward because they're constantly looking behind them.Turn around. Look here, at this moment in time. Where are you now and where can you go from here if you take action now?Your present and future hold infinite possibilities. Your past: none. [click to tweet]Your life is what you focus on. Gently bring yourself back to the now, to the you who lives and breathes in this moment.Mentally berating yourself won't do anyone any good. Back up only to see a fuller view of where you are, not so far as to step into shoulda-woulda-coulda-ville.

Columbus: Be Clear

Ok, we're about to get real with this city's run down.Columbus was the stop I feared the whole tour. They booked a bit late in the process, which took the only chance I had during the entire tour to fly back home for a week. I was more than happy to go teach instead, though. I wasn't hellbent on having a week to come home anyways.I arrived a couple days early and stayed in a hotel to work and chill the whole time (which ended up being slightly cheaper than the airbnbs in the area). I kinda just toodled around for those days.My old roommate came to see me from Cincinatti, which was about 2 hours away. It was so great to see her happy face again, especially because I'm in such a better space now than I was when we lived together.My good friend, Vic Magary, drove a couple hours in, too, for the bootcamp. We even shot a couple videos for you all about how to progress basic moves so that they are do-able and challenging for every level!VicnmeVic is such a great, positive force. He's always level-headed thanks to his military experience and martial arts training. He's almost like a big brother presence. I was going to need him there with me for this experience...When I arrived at the bootcamp, the outdoor mall in which the location was situated was empty.The storm from Nashville had followed me to Columbus, but it seemed angrier here. It was darker and more ominous.I'd been touching base with all the locations before the bootcamps, but this one had been shaky in getting back to me. I thought they were probably just busy.When I got to the store a half hour early, I told them my name and they looked at me expectantly... like it was supposed to mean something.The breath went out of me."I'm here for The 30x30 Project," I said. "The bootcamp class that I'm teaching today?""Oh! Okay," the girl said reassuringly, but her eyes spoke otherwise.I looked around quickly. None of the racks had been moved. There was a flyer tucked over by the furthest cash register in the corner, but no update on the chalkboard.They didn't let anyone know. They didn't even know I was coming.When I voiced my concerns to the girl managing that day, she said, "No, we know about it. Our manager is just out having a baby right now, so communication has been a bit tough... Can you tell me exactly what you're doing again?"Gulp.I looked to Vic, and he looked at me with those calm, comforting eyes. I was so grateful to have him there with me. Turns out, he was the only one who came.The girl who was helping us joined in with bare feet because she didn't have shoes ready other than Uggs. Most of the employees just watched from the front of the store. One of them started the class with us, then ran into the back room after the first circuit and didn't come out. It was the only bootcamp I cut short on the whole tour.I left feeling like I was going to cry. I'd just spent a few hundred dollars on hotel stays and plane tickets to come here. I could have gone home to see my friends and my fiancé... and I let Vic know all of this. Poor Vic saw me drop my ever-present positive mindset and fall into old woe-is-me territory with this bootcamp.After much complaining and venting, Vic chimed in, "If this is the only bootcamp that turned out like this, I don't think you're too bad off."I stopped my grumbling for a second and looked at him."You have to have this experience at least once, right?" he smiled.He was right, but I was still fighting it internally...Ok, so it was pouring outside and the location wasn't very close to anything. It was kind of in the middle of nowhere.But man, they could have let people know! They could have made a Facebook event. They could have sent out emails to their list. They could have educated their guests in-store for a couple weeks leading up to the event...I could have let them know that's what I expected.The rest of the stores offered up that promotion. They did it on their own, so I just came to expect it, I guess. It was not a requirement I made clear.I never once said, "Please educate guests, spread the word and make a Facebook event."I just hoped they would....which is very unlike me.I guess I got so overwhelmed with doing all the PR myself for this tour, that I just let myself hope that most locations would do their part. But maybe this location didn't know what their part was.I wasn't clear with what I expected.Hoping things will happen without voicing exactly what you want is a recipe for disaster, as I learned first-hand in Columbus. There's a lot to be said for hope, but without expression of intention, it just doesn't make sense.The only way that hope ever pays off is if we choose to make clear our intentions and act on them.Had I said, "I want you to do X, Y and Z," this store may have said, "OK we can do that," or would have let me know up front, "We can't do that."It was correct of me to assume that they would at least tell everyone on staff that day what 30x30 is about, but I couldn't expect them to promote the bootcamp without asking them to do it.When you're putting your heart on the line, don't leave expectations of others up to chance. Be clear with what you want.This is true in any kind of relationship, business or personal. If you want something, ask. If you expect someone to do something, tell them. You cannot get angry for not getting what you want if you don't make yourself clear about what it is that you want in the first place. It just doesn't make sense.Avoid this feeling for yourself and always, always, always be clear.rachelvicandmeVic and I met up with my fellow Greatist ambassador, Rachel Omolewu, after the class. She had tried to get to the store in time for the bootcamp, but got stuck in the storm traffic and didn't make it until an hour later.Though it took me a while to cool off and build that positive perspective back up, the fact that both Vic and Rachel were there for me afterwards made the whole experience so much less painful. Rachel drove in an hour and a half, Vic 2 hours. These two built me back up when I felt completely shot-down.By the end of the night, I was feeling deeply loved and supported thanks to them, but honestly, I couldn't wait to get to Montreal...*****Sorry to leave you all on that note, but I want to be honest with you here. That's what Strong Inside Out is about.Strength is not "sucking it up" when times get tough. It's not about "putting on a happy face."Strength is the power within you to get through the difficult times and grow from them. Strength is the ability to search for the lessons in trying situations. Strength is the courage to stand back up after being pushed down over and over again.Strong Inside Out exists to help you discover and harness your strength so that nothing can take you down.Next week, I'm hoping to start you on that path in a more guided and specific way. No more hints, though. ;)So many changes coming to Strong Inside Out that I think you'll really dig. You ready to ride this roller coaster with me?With hope and fire,Amy

Tour30x30, Atlanta, Columbus, Nashville, project, tour5 Comments