Cleaning Out The Lack: Why I removed 40 posts from SIO
After days of digging, I've taken down 40 articles (and edited quite a few more) that no longer align with my philosophies on food, goals and body image.They had titles like "Awesomely Unhealthy Weekend Detox," and "The 6 Pillars of Losing The Freshman 15...or 30."
The message I was sending to anyone who found and read those articles was simple: You are not enough as you are. Change the way you eat/the way you look and you might be....which makes sense. That's what I used to believe.Beliefs are tricky things. They live deep within us at a subconscious level. They're not just thoughts; they're the lens through which we interpret the world.
My belief was that beauty and thinness were all. If I fell short of my ultimate goal, I was worthless, willpower-less, weak, lacking.
I never truly understood that one's worth was more than her body. I heard it, and on a level, I wanted to believe it. But on the main, functioning, conscious level, letting go of that belief meant giving into a life of gluttony. It meant letting myself go.
My entire life was fueled by this Lack. I thought of little else besides earning "Enough" through losing weight. Needing it. Sustained on the dream of it.
It took achieving the dream, the inevitable fallout afterwards, and years of work to remember the truth; to recognize my worth one breath at a time. I had to teach myself through action and deliberate thought redirection that my worth was not my weight.
Keeping those old articles up on Strong Inside Out was a betrayal to the strong, confident, WOKE woman I've become.
The idea of one more girl having her low self-esteem validated by my old content made my skin crawl. I woke up one day and knew it was time.
And so I cleaned out the lack. Every post that advocated that one needs to change their looks or means to finally "arrive" has been taken down or edited. Every article that taught you an outdated (and ineffective) way to go after your dreams was also taken down or edited.If you're looking for old content that's no longer here, I hope you'll consider reading one of my more current posts to get an update on my more accepting, empowered, bullsh**-free view of the world. The posts that are still up have contributed to my strength as it is now, no qualifications required.
If you're stuck in the not-enough-ness headspace, I hope my experience and empowerment can inspire a gentle shift within you. An opening to the idea that - maybe - perfection isn't all.
With Love and T.R.U.T.H.,
Amy