Squashing Your ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Today, after my beast of a workout, I was doing the huffing-that-may-turn-into-heaving slow walk across the floor with hands my on my head when my guru trainer, Yaw, came up to me.Yaw is the reason I discovered corrective exercise and started getting serious about the way I formatted workouts. Training with him taught me just what I was really capable of, and that there is a way to get results for everyone. He knew me better than I did back when I was training regularly with him.I took my ear phones out and gave him a tired smile."I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you," he said.I was totally caught by surprise. "Thank you," I managed to spurt out between labored breaths.With intense eye contact, he continued:

"Knowing you from when you first started training, through our training together, and your progression since, it's just amazing who you've become. Your knowledge, your training tactics, and who you are now. I'm so proud of you."

The lump in my throat made it even harder for me to breathe. I started tearing up... and wanting to throw up at the same time. That wasn't his fault, though. ;)It's just funny to me that I got this immensely moving compliment today, when just yesterday I was reviewing everything that brought me here.Yesterday, I spent much of the day doing some preliminary moving.It's pretty easy because Rick and I are minimalists as is, but one thing I have a hard time getting rid of are old notebooks. Even after seven moves in Los Angeles alone, I still have PILES of notebooks full of journal entries, random notes and even calendars with significant events scrawled across them.While I was going through all the notebooks (most of them filled out only for a few pages, and then discarded), ripping out the written parts and putting the blank ones in the donation pile, I came across my CBT exercise notebook... one of the many.This was the notebook I used to work through the homework I got from my therapist when I started actually working on changing my habits and mindset. Many of the pages were ANTs exercises; a written analyzation of my Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs).My homework was to do the following as soon as I started experiencing anxiety or downward spiraling:

• The trigger: what happened that caused these feelings.
• Write down what I was physically experiencing.
• The thoughts I was having.
• The reality of the situation. What evidence did I have for the  thoughts and feelings I was having?

No solution written at that point. I worked through that part in person with my amazing therapist.I was shocked when I reviewed the thoughts that were coming up for me after certain triggers. No one should ever talk to themselves the way that I was talking to myself.Looking at those thoughts now makes me angry. If someone talked to me or someone I loved like that, they'd be hearing it from me.Which made me stop and become immediately and overwhelmingly grateful for all that hard work I put in. I made myself the fighter I am today. I worked hard to have this easy, positive mindset that looks for the good in situations instead of adding my wrongs to the list of why I'd never achieve anything (like I used to).If I was saying those awful things to myself, I imagine that many of you are still attacking yourself with similar ANTs, and that's just not ok with me.You deserve love from those around you AND FROM YOURSELF. The love starts here, friends, with you. We need to nip this in the bud and get you in a space that allows for the strength to move forward with your extraordinary life. Your ANTs are keeping you from exactly that.Now, I don't advocate killing things (I'm one of those hippies that puts bugs outside), but these nasty pests deserve to be smooshed and discarded never to be heard from again.Let's squash these strength-suckers, shall we? Let's instill positive reactions that will serve us as we create the lives we want.Here is my SIO rendition of the exercise I did to squash my ANTs that you may be able to use to move forward stronger...[A special note to those in a very dark place right now: do this exercise only under the supervision of a licensed mental health professional, and skip it if he/she thinks it's not the best idea for you right now. This exercise is not the best to do when you are feeling extremely low]

1. What's the trigger?

What happened that caused this shift in your emotions and physicality?

2. What's happening in your body?

What are you physically experiencing? Tightness, burning, aching, etc? Where?

3. What thoughts are you having?

These are your Automatic Negative Thoughts. Write out what you are actually saying to yourself.

4. Where do these thoughts come from?

Are you repeating to yourself what you have heard from someone else? Do you have a fear ingrained in you that is rooted in your past? Try tracking your thinking back to when you first started to say these kinds of things to yourself.

5. What evidence do I have to support these thoughts?

List both evidence for and against your thoughts. Is this thought true for me today? If you need an outside eye, ask someone who you trust, who supports you and truly wants the best for you.

6. How will thinking like this serve me or harm me in the long-term?

True or not, ask yourself whether beating yourself up like this will get you anywhere at all. What does it do? Motivate you to change? More than positive encouragement would? Has it worked up to this point? How does it affect your life, thinking like this all the time? How will it get better or worse if you hold onto these thinking patterns?

CHOOSE ONE ANT TO ATTACK AT A TIME, THEN TAKE THESE STEPS:

1. What is a positive, encouraging thought that you can start replacing this negative one with?

This can be an affirmation or a mantra that provides motivation. Encourage a healthy, positive mindset here.Every time you start having these automatic negative thoughts, remind yourself of the fact that thinking like this won't get you anywhere. Bring up this positive, encouraging thought to replace that negative one with.

2. What can I do proactively to nourish this strong side of me? What positive actions can I take to strengthen these new thoughts?

Make a list right now of proactive things you can do to break the cycle of negative thinking. Here are some ideas:

• Pat yourself on the back with what you've accomplished; write down everything you're proud of accomplishing.
• List out what you're grateful for.
• Take a walk outside to connect with nature.
• Do what you're beating yourself up for not doing.
• Encourage rest when you need it. Remind yourself that you can't do everything all the time; balance is a good thing!

When these thoughts come up, much of our anxiety and fear come from focusing on what we can't control. There is (literally) no use in doing that. You won't solve it by worrying because you can't control it.

Empower yourself by shifting your focus to action; what can you do to create long-term improvement?

I'm not going to ask you to share because I think we should concentrate on eradicating these thoughts instead of dwelling on them. If you have any questions, though, I invite you to post in the comments below!I can't wait for you to hear the same compliment that I got today. Maybe in a few weeks, months or maybe years. However long it takes, you will uncover your confidence and strength with focus and determination. It's worth the time and effort you put in. Gear up, and enjoy the ride. :)Here's to a stronger, more proactive you...Stay strong,Amypic by Fey Ilyas