The Strength Sessions: Breanna's Story

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Welcome back, Strongies!We're here with The Strength Sessions, episode #2 on Strong Inside Out. In these interviews we're sharing some of the countless stories that I heard along last year's 30 x 30 project tour, which is basically like the Strong Inside Out tour of last year.  It’s kind of like 30 x 30 all grown up and we really can't wait to bring this movement back out into the world because not only do we benefit Suicide Prevention charity with 50% of our event proceeds going directly to To Write Love on Her Arms but we also get to directly affect the participants of the events.This year we’re going to be offering an ongoing program to keep people engaged, active and moving forward long beyond the event itself.  Even without this ongoing element, the Strong Inside Out movement has been helping people unleash their Strong across the world since last year's 30 x 30 project tour.Last year's tour brought this movement to the people who struggled and inspired many of them to open up often for the very first time.  Today I am honored to introduce you to one of these courageous beings, Breanna Parbst, who I met at the Saskatoon tour stop last year.Welcome, Breanna. I'm really glad I got to meet you last year and I'm glad to have you on the show here.  Thank you for being brave enough to come here and open up with us.

Breanna:   I'm honoured just even to be here.  Even talking to you and meeting you last year was really inspirational and it was just awesome and it was a great experience.

Amy:  You're inspirational.  So there.  I just want you to kind of tell us a little bit about yourself.  What do you do, what do you love, what makes you happy and grateful every day?  Just tell us a little bit about Breanna's world here.

Breanna: Breanna's world has changed a little bit since you last met me.  I'm still taking a little bit of a break from school but I've moved back actually to my mom's house in Prince Albert, which is an hour north of Saskatoon and I recently just got a Boxer.  He's amazing, he's honestly been really great in my life.  We always go out and do activities together.  I'm still lifeguarding so I'm back at the pool and I'm going back to school for education in the fall.

Amy: Awesome.  Very cool.  What are you looking to educate in?

Breanna: Pre-K through 3, so the little guys.

Amy: That’s awesome.  Congratulations.

Breanna: Yeah I've got a lot of passion for them so I thought "well, might as well go where my passion is".

Amy: Exactly.  That’s what we all have to do.  I think that’s great and that’s where you are going to serve the most people and you're really going to be able to inspire those little ones too.

Breanna: Yeah.

Amy: At a very young age.  So that’s great.

Breanna: That's my goal.

Amy: I'm glad that you're happy now and you're going on this pursuit of your dreams.  When I met you, you shared a little bit about your personal struggle.  I was wondering if you could open up to us today about that.

Breanna: My experience was my mom and dad divorced when I was younger, when I was in grade 4, that was kind of a rough time but I had dance at the time to really get me through it.  When I was 15 my dad actually passed away and so there was a huge emotional discourse and turmoil within me.  Dance was kind of the way I got that out.

I've always sort of been around fitness my entire life.  I was either swimming or I was always in athletics of some sort and it's just always kind of been there for me as an escape to let emotion out.  I know like whenever I was sad or anything like that I could just go out, hear a piece of music and dance my heart out and be physical in some way and I would be OK.

Then when I went to University I got into CrossFit which was a major major life changer for me.  It was so awesome to have that support system, to be so motivated about what my body can do.  It was just so phenomenal at the fact that I could lift 95 pounds above my head and I was weighing probably 120 at the time.

Amy: Yeah...

Breanna: It's just like "Wow, this is almost my body weight, I can squat pretty much my weight", it was just so like, you never know how strong you are until you put your mind to it.  It was an amazing experience, I absolutely loved it.

Amy: I love both the CrossFit communities and dance communities because dance teaches you from a young age that it's the art outlet and it's the fitness outlet, which is amazing put together.  Then the CrossFit community is some of my most supportive people are in the CrossFit community.  We know what it's like to fight, you know?

Breanna: For sure.  That is totally what it is, the determination to actually get that and everyone's behind you to get your goal, to get your new weight.  It's just amazing.  Even in competition time I did the CrossFit open and it was just like the vibe at the gym, everyone was so excited and so pumped.  It made you want to do so much more and just give it your all.

Amy: That's amazing.  I'm so glad you found that community too.

Breanna: Yeah.

Amy: So working out really does let you just let all of this stuff out.  Does it also make you feel stronger just like the 'bad-arsery' of it to be able to lift all that?

Breanna: Yeah, totally.  Whenever I'm lifting or whatever, I feel like I'm a bad ass, I'm like "Yeah I can do this" and I almost get a little bit cocky.  If I know someone isn’t a lifter or even if they're the male gender I kind of getting a little cocky.

Amy: It's so funny.  That competition side of us, even if we're really good friends with the people that we are working out with, it can actually really drive us to be our best selves, not just better than the other person.  If we allow that competition to just like feed into our drive to be better than we were last time.

Breanna: Yeah, actually my gym partner right now is a guy.  It's nice because I know I am not going to be at the same weight he is and he knows that with me but we just push each other because we know we are in competition with ourselves because really that’s who we are going to beat, we can't compare ourselves to anyone else because they didn’t have the same journey as us.  It nice to have that support where you are on the same page and you are just there to support your friend on their journey too.

Amy: That’s amazing.  That’s going to be a quotable right there. I love that.  So we just talked briefly before this, you know we kind of kept in touch which I love.  After I met you in person, you've had this whole slew of struggles kind of come raining upon you.  If you could open up to the Strongie community about that, just let them know that struggles come .

Breanna: They totally do.  The whole thing about my dad, I got through it but it was definitely like music and working out that kind of kept me sane.  Even with school, I was so stressed out.  I actually have a severe anxiety disorder so I would have panic attacks before I would go into a test and what not.  I actually had to take a break.  Now I feel more centered and stronger to go back to school and I believe that CrossFit had a huge part in that because it totally built so much confidence in myself because I knew I could do something that I never thought I could do before.

I always associated lifting weights as a masculine thing or that women couldn’t necessarily do that but now that I have experienced that and conquered some pretty major goals in lifting, it has made me a different person for sure.  Even right after you left, the room-mate I was living with who introduced me to CrossFit, we had, it didn’t end well and I ended up having to move out and what not.

Amy: Oh no.Breanna: This is the whole time where I found out that I had kidney disease and that was like a huge identity crises almost because I associated myself with fitness so much.  When I said anything about myself it was like "Oh I'm a fitness nut, I'm a CrossFitter, I do this, I eat this, I follow the Paleo diet and then it completely turned my life upside down because I had to think about what can I eat, how can I exercise, what is good for me?  CrossFit was like this huge awesome influence but now I realise that I can't just follow a fad, I have to figure out what is best for me and my body.  Yes I love lifting and yes I love certain aspects of CrossFit but I have to fine tune everything to myself and what is good for my body and what not.

It's been a challenge but I am loving that I am back at the gym and I am loving that I have a good support system.  When someone is saying they are eating a high protein diet and they are working out lots I'm like, "You've got to watch it because this what happened to me".

Amy: Yeah.Breanna: We don’t know exactly what happened, it could have been something that happened in my past but still, it's just made me become more aware and more cautious about what I am putting in my body and what I am doing with my body.Amy: Yeah.  I think really paying attention to what your body needs and...

Breanna: Yeah.

Amy: Because your body is going to interpret things differently than anybody else’s, so it is just about being aware of what is going on in your body and it is good that you caught it when you did.

Breanna: Yeah.

Amy: So to clarify guys, Breanna found out that she, you had your kidney disease going on and your doctor told you that you needed to stop CrossFit for a while.

Breanna: Yeah.

Amy: So she was forced to stop CrossFit, which was basically like this big support community and so that kind of threw you for a loop because I mean who wouldn’t it throw for a loop?  If I was told I couldn’t go run right now, I hurt my foot recently and I couldn’t run for a whole month and a half and I was like "What am I doing with my life" and that wasn’t even with other people who were supporting me.  I can just imagine how almost devastating that would be but I am really glad that you are now getting back in the gym, you realise that that’s not the way you need to go right now, not necessarily that you won't ever be able to do that again...

Breanna: Yeah.

Amy: Just listening to your body and taking it step by step and still taking action, not letting it defeat you, that’s the key.

Breanna: Yeah, that was totally it.  It actually took me a little bit to get back into it.  I was like: “I need to get my butt in gear.”  I got a gym membership here and then like I booked some personal training times because I have no idea how to work out with machines because I have just been used to CrossFit.

Amy: Yeah.

Breanna: I went to those and then it took me a while to get back in and when I did get back in it's because I had this support system.  It's funny actually, I met him at the dog park here in PA and I knew of him before but we just kind of, like our dogs hang out together and then we go to the gym after, it's a nice support system.

Amy: That’s great, really great.  That sounds perfect.  So, beyond even just getting back in the gym, being told that you can't do the one thing you love more than anything has got to be a very hard hit, so...

Breanna: Yeah, I was like pro-CrossFit all the way.

Amy: Yeah, you WERE CrossFit.  When you heard that news, what other kind of coping mechanisms besides finding another way to work out did you use to deal with it?  Did anything that you'd been reading on Strong Inside Out or anything from the 30 x 30 project last year, help you cope you with it?

Breanna: Honestly, the 30 x 30 project last year was a huge, huge inspiration to me.  I've had quite a few people, well not quite a few but I've had a few friends who have attempted to commit suicide and they haven’t really gotten an outlet to kind of expel their energy to.

Just knowing that fitness and exercise can have such a strong, positive influence on someone is just amazing.  It's life changing.

I am so passionate about people bettering themselves emotionally, internally and the strength, like physically.  Whenever I can promote fitness in any way, that’s why I was like, I jumped on that idea to go into the 30 x 30 Project.  I'm like "we need this".  We need this in Saskatoon.  It was actually winter time I think when you...

Amy: It was the depths of winter.

Breanna: Yeah.  Lots of people get seasonal depression in Saskatchewan because our winters are so long so it was good to promote that fitness feel.  "Here’s an outlet to make yourself happy, here's a support system, here are tools, use them."

Amy: Exactly, that is what I am really excited about with this year's tour is that we are giving people a means to keep going instead of just being like one event.

Breanna: Yeah, even getting your emails all the time or seeing what you are doing on Facebook or whatever, it's been like "Hey I know, I know I can do this, I know I can do this" and I follow a lot of Instagram fitness motivation so that helped a lot too.

Amy: That's great.  I love the visual inspiration.  That’s a big thing for me.  I always make the wallpapers for my phone of my mantra of the week or whatever I am going to do.  It's a great tool.  Those are similar tools that I am going to teach people in the actual ongoing programme that follows up the event this year, so don’t worry Breanna, you will have access.Last year you participated in the 30 x 30 project and we just kind of talked about that a little bit but can you tell us actually about the experience, about going to the event, how it felt.  A lot of people especially, because I paired up with Kelly from Move n’ Soar up there.  She's amazing, I love her so much.

Breanna: She is such a bubbly, energetic person that you totally feed off her energy and you get that excited and it's amazing.  I was so excited and so pumped to just be a part of that.  My one friend from CrossFit who came, she was just all into it and we were all about this work out and we were all energetic and pumped up.

It was a great work out.  I got a burn, it felt really good.

I was just so overjoyed with life, I want to say because I can't really describe my feeling because I was literally so overjoyed with passion, with like "Yes, this is awesome, I want to promote this, more people need to feel this way."

Amy: That’s exactly what I want.  I want these events to be celebrations of life.

Breanna: It totally was that.

Amy: Yeah.

Breanna:

That's how I felt.  It was just like, we can do this, look at what my body can do, look at what I can do emotionally, look how much I have grown emotionally from where I have been to where I am now and I can totally attribute fitness and strength to be a part of that.

Amy: That’s amazing, that’s so amazing.  I am so glad you felt that way, that’s exactly what I wanted out of that.  Especially because a lot of people I feel that went there, didn’t know what they were in for.  When we all got into it as a group together, that’s when like everything kicked up, people were screaming, sweating all over the place, we were in a big circle!  I came off the stage at one time, it was a lot of fun that one.  Pretty much every single one of them was great.If you were to define one single biggest takeaway from the Strong Inside Out Movement and the 30 x 30 project, what would that be?

Breanna: Believe in yourself.

Amy: Yeah, I love that.

Breanna: Totally believe in yourself and believe in what you can do as an individual.

Amy: Hope is real my friend.  You are proof, right here, you are proof.Well that’s pretty much all my questions today, Breanna.  I thank you so much for coming on here, being brave enough to share your story to inspire others to not give up hope, because you will, you will help people.  The more we speak about it, the less stigmatised it becomes, the more other people will feel free to raise their voices as well.  So thank you so much for sharing your story and being a part of the Strength Sessions with us today.

Breanna: I am so happy to be here and sure, anything I can to help anyone else.

Amy: You are helping, every day.  Thank you so much Breanna.

Thank you for joining us for episode #2 of The Strength Sessions!

More stories from last year's 30x30 Project Tour to come. To continue hearing these stories and to encourage more people who haven't found their strong yet to keep fighting, we need to rally as a community!We're about halfway into our campaign and 25% of the way to goal. If you haven't yet donated, please don't wait any longer. More stories like Breanna's and Kimmy's deserve to be heard. We can help them rise out of this struggle!

Please click here to visit the campaign, give what you can and share like lives depend on it. They do.

Come back next week for an all-new Strength Sessions interview with another inspirational individual who was affected by The Strong Inside Out Tour! Til then, you know what to do...Stay strong,Amy