Push Hard. Now Let Go.
Update from Amy Jan 17, 2017: I wrote this post when my philosophy on wellness was… different. I have left this article as is so that you might see how far I've come in terms of my approach. To read about how I go after goals now, read Willful Vs. Willing. xo AmyI'm a personal trainer. I am supposed to be motivating. Inspiring. One to be looked up to. But late last year, I was struggling. I was putting all the work in and more- 4 lifts per week, 4-5 cardio sessions (sprints, steady state, and 45 minutes at 70-85% max heart rate), and eating a strict diet (let's put it this way- I felt guilty when I had a piece of whole grain toast with jam with Sunday brunch). I was putting so much work in, and I could not understand why I wasn't getting the results I wanted. On paper, my routine would be considered textbook for gaining mass and leaning out. I was killing myself (a bit too literally, as I see it now) to gain some muscle mass and lean out at the same time. I was going to make it happen, no matter how hard my body fought back. What I didn't realize at the time, was that this push-push-push mindset was exactly why I wasn't achieving my goals. I was purely in "make it happen" mode, and completely blind to the idea of sitting back and trusting that the results would come if I allowed them to. I realize now that it is possible to keep yourself from reaching success by simply not letting yourself. From my personal experience and from what I have learned working with clients that have hit the same wall, I will share with all of you what I have come to find true: in order to achieve any goal, you MUST find a balance between making it happen and allowing it to happen.
When we set goals, most people immediately go into "make it happen" mode- steps are put in place to physically alter one's routine to bring about change. For example, my goal was to build lean muscle mass while lowering body fat percentage. In order to do this, I took a look at what I was doing at the time, and what I could alter to bring about the changes that I wanted to see. I wasn't lifting weights often enough to gain mass, so I altered that. I wasn't eating enough of the right kinds of foods, and too much of the wrong ones, so I altered that. My cardio sessions weren't focused enough, so I altered that. Then I went for it. When I go for something, I go for it gung ho- all-out. I thought that the harder I worked, the faster the results would come. I had one full rest day, but my body was used to 2-3. With the extra intensity I was placing upon myself, I started overtraining (feeling lethargic, getting injured, not fully recuperating muscle groups by the time I would return to working them a few days later) 2 weeks into my program. Where I went wrong here, besides giving my body way too much to adapt to way too fast, was the obliviousness I had to the other side of the equation- I was pushing so hard while refusing to trust the process and allowing it to work, which set me up for failure.There comes a time in every person's life where you just have to let go and allow the results of all your hard work to come to you. It is rare that pure will ends up being enough. Now there are scientific reasons for this as well as impalpable ones. If you're stressing out too much about reaching a certain goal, your body can begin to react in a way that can prevent you from physically changing: cortisol (the stress hormone that is also related to increased body fat especially in the midsection) rises, making it very hard to reduce body fat; lack of sleep will keep you from goals because your muscles rebuild and heal after tough workouts while you sleep and on your rest days- if they are unable to do so, they will begin to atrophy leading to injury, lethargy, and decreased metabolic output; stress can either increase your appetite or cause appetite suppression- depending on how your body processes it- making it difficult to stick to diet plans; and the list goes on. The impalpable are more difficult to explain. Have you ever tried really hard to remember the name of a song, but just couldn't do it until you let go and stopped thinking about it? The same phenomenon occurs with physical goals as well. There is a kind of metaphysical wall that we put up when we want something really badly. In order to allow the results in, we must let this wall down first.I've seen these walls go up numerous times in many clients over the years as well as in myself. It usually happens when we put too much weight (no pun intended) on our goals; when desperation takes over and nothing else seems to matter except accomplishing this one feat. Who do I see this in most? Brides-to-be. The immovable date, the pressure of the beautiful dress, and the threat of a judgmental audience are enough to throw anyone into GO-mode. It's all about "make it happen" when you have that much pressure on you. Also, type A personalities are especially prone to the "make it happen" ideology. Not until they allow themselves to relax and trust that the process works do the results really start revealing themselves.Let go? Okay. Sounds easy right? Not necessarily! If you are quick to control situations, this step may be harder than the physical work you have to put in. I know it was for me! The physical work is a given. You know it works! You've seen it happen for plenty of other people. What you don't see is when those people go home and STOP thinking about it. The key to stop stressing is to remember that your goal is only one part of your life- it is not your whole life. Relax! I find that yoga, meditation, meeting up with a friend, or running outside are a few of the many ways that have helped me and my clients get the mind out of the grind. Make sure you take full days off to let your body recover and to do something else- the focus and drive can take you over! Make sure you're finding balance in the rest of your life, and know that the results only come when you give it a rest! Just breathe, people!We always hear about balance and how it can benefit us, but I think that many of us just don't believe that it's necessary. We have been raised to believe that success is achieved through hard work and determination... which is true... to a point. Yes, you should work hard, but enjoy yourself while you do! Sometimes you just need to sit back and let the good things come to you. Let them in, and be grateful for them. Put in the work, then trust and LET GO.I hope my experience can help all of you avoid the same pitfalls. As always, please feel free to post a comment or question. I'm happy to help however I can!Much health and happiness,Amy
photo courtesy of Brandon Doran