Let Go NOW: 3 Ways to Get Over Setbacks

Letting go is a tough business. Our egos hate it!The ego will fight to the bitter end to be right, no matter how old and irrelevant the fight. One of the ego's favorite ways to manifest itself is in stubbornness.Many confuse strength with stubbornness when, in fact, they're very different. Though stubbornness can involve strength, it can also involve the refusal to recognize when you're wrong and forced reservations of long-gone disagreements. It's exhausting, really.Holding onto old strifes takes a lot more energy than it takes to simply let it go, but a lot of us don't know how to let go. We've been living our whole lives holding on so it's all we know.Below, you'll find 3 mindset-shifters that may make the process of release a little easier (or at least more palatable).Just breathe. Get ready to create a lot more space for awesomeness in your life!

1. Try to understand

When we harbor resentment, it's usually because we are focused on being wronged.

I can't believe he broke up with me!

How dare she go behind my back like that!

She never thought about how I'd feel!

While being wronged hurts, focusing on the slight is like digging a thumb into the wound. We can obsess all day about what the other person did to us, but to move on from it, it would be helpful to consider their side of the story.How many times have we wished that we could explain ourselves to someone we hurt? This person who wronged you has a story behind their actions, too.Consider these questions to shift your perspective:

• What happened in their life to bring them to act like this? Can you feel any compassion toward their situation?
• What did they get out of hurting you? Have you ever felt that way or done something like that?
• Do they feel horrible? Can you accept that they may regret their actions, even if it doesn't make it ok?

Most actions that people take, wrong or right, don't have much to do with the person who gets hurt. The things we do are predominantly selfish and that's not wrong or right; it's just who we are as the human race.This person's actions don't have anything to do with how "good" or worthy a person you are. No matter what, you are good, you are worthy. No one can take that away from you.

2. Acknowledge your takeaways

You've heard that "everything happens for a reason," right? Well, this is a time when we want to hold that motto very close.Something that you have in your life now never would have existed if you weren't wronged in the first place.Get clear on your positive takeaways by asking yourself:

• What did you learn from this experience?
• What positive(s) came into your life as a result of this experience?

As difficult as it may feel to acknowledge the good you may have gotten out of that pain, it can also encourage healing and forward movement.

3. You're not weak

Not everything that happens to us can be negotiated toward the positive. There are horrible things in some of our pasts that remain unjustifiable.If you are the victim of one of these unjustifiable events, it does not make you a victim for life. Please don't let the past rule your present. Don't let this one event have any more power over your life.

Justifiable or no, letting go doesn't mean letting back in.

You don't have to forget what happened to let it go. You also don't ever have to talk to the person who wronged you again.Releasing the power that this one event holds over you is an act of strength, not weakness. To say to the world, "Yes, I got hurt, but there's no way I'm effing going to let that take up any more space in my life," is the ultimate form of empowerment.YOU CHOOSE how you live your life. No one can determine the actions you take. You are not a slave to your past – you create your life in every moment.Choose freedom. Choose space. Choose what feels good and let the rest go. [tweet it]Stay strong (not stubborn),Amy