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3 Mindset-Changers to Make Any Situation Suck Less

3 Mindset-Changers to Make Any Situation Suck Less

S*** happens. In fact, it happens all the time. Most of the time, we can handle it just fine. The situation isn’t too drastic or we’ve grown strong enough to brush it off.

Those situations aren’t what we’re talking about today.

Today, we’re talking about the big stuff. The stuff that makes you go, “Eff. I don’t even know how to handle this!”

There’s a heck of a lot of change going on in people’s lives all around me. There’s something about right now that’s throwing everyone for a major loop!

People are losing their jobs. People are getting sick. People are shutting down businesses. There’s a lot of struggle happening right now, basically, and it’s easy to get caught up in the woe of it all.

But what if we redirected that focus? What if we became determined not to get sucked up in the turmoil of it all and instead made it mean something?

That’s exactly what I hope to help you do today, Lovely. Today is all about empowering you once again, no matter how hard this time is for you.

We’re going over three mindset-changing truths that can serve as gentle reminders to keep you from sinking. Choose whichever speaks to you (or alternate all 3!), and repeat them in your head whenever you need a boost of empowerment.

If times aren’t hard, these reminders can still help you to view things on the brighter side!

THE STORY DOESN'T END HERE

The story doesn’t end here

How would you feel if you were reading a book and the hero finally came to their big obstacle… and the story just ended?

I bet you’d be pissed. I bet you’d feel cheated.

Well, tell you what, boys and girls. Your story isn’t over either. No story ends here.

Whatever it is you’re struggling with is just an obstacle to overcome. The guts of the story is in the working through it.

This is the point where the hero learns all the lessons that the struggle was meant to teach him. This is where the hero gets an ego check, instilling in him humility and wisdom. It’s usually a stepping stone to something much greater than what he’s just lost.

You are the hero of your own story. Look for the lesson in this. Refuse to believe that there’s no point to the pain. This will teach you something. This will lead you somewhere higher if you allow it.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FOREVER

This is not your forever

A lot of us catastrophize when we go through hard times. The real danger comes when we start to think that it will always be this way. It’s when we think that this one situation is a general summary of what our life is destined to be that we start to lose hope and faith.

So stop it. This is not the time to give in.

The only reason this would be your forever is if you refused to learn from it and repeated this crap all over again.

Say you lost your job because you were late to work multiple times. Learn from it. Set alarms 30 minutes earlier for your next job. There will be a next job! Make it a point to be early every single day so that you never have to live through this pain again.

The responsibility of your forever lies on you and you alone.

ONE EVENT DOESN'T DETERMINE MY WORTH

One event doesn’t determine my worth

When we get hit with a life-changing event, sometimes we think that it’s all our fault. And sometimes it is. But then we make generalized judgments about the situation. Maybe we think that we’re not enough as we are, or that we will never get what we’re after.

Even if it was your fault, that doesn’t mean that you are not deserving of happiness. Maybe you acted in a way that caused this, but that does not mean that YOU are undeserving.

You have inherent worth. So you did something crappy. Apologize and keep moving forward with actions that are informed by this event. Stop punishing yourself. Being a martyr won’t make this any easier.

And if it wasn’t your fault, let go of the shoulda-woulda-coulda’s all the same.

You can’t always control what happens to you in life, but you can control your experience. You choose to interpret everything that happens in your own way.

Will you choose to let it destroy you, or will you learn and move on with the rest of your story?

Choosing different actions than what you’re used to isn’t easy. It takes focus, mindfulness and persistence, but it pays off.

Choose a life free of guilt and restraint. Open yourself up to the possibility of another experience.

I know you can.

Stay strong,

Amy

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8 responses to “3 Mindset-Changers to Make Any Situation Suck Less”

  1. Stefanie says:

    Amy, good timing. I just lost my job. The job I hated, but was to afraid to leave. The job that was so out of sync with who I am, I was miserable all the time. Before, when I was out of work, I would settle for the first thing that came along, out of fear. I have never had a job i truly enjoyed. I refuse to do that this time. I am determined to find work that is fulfilling and in line with my true self. I want to be my own hero. I think I can do it this time. You’ve been a good influence over the last couple of years. Thank you.

    • Amy says:

      This awareness that you’ve cultivated is what will see you through this tough time. You are already your own hero! Now act accordingly! :)

      I am so grateful to have your supportive, consistent presence here at SIO. I’m glad my writing offers you support, too. <3

  2. Tessa says:

    I’m sitting at work, crying my eyes out. I just found your blog, and already I feel like it’s a life line. I work at a job that I hate, just so that I can pay for the roof over my head. I feel like life is draining me of happiness and passion (and my depression & anxiety don’t help much either). But these words touch me so incredibly deeply… so thank you. Thank you for reminding me that there’s more. That this isn’t the end, and that this ISN’T my forever. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

    • Amy says:

      Tessa, you are so so welcome. You’re not alone, and you will make it through this. Hang in there and remember that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be to get where you need to be. Welcome to the Strongie family. <3

  3. Tammy says:

    This morning I googled “I am so depressed with my life and I need inspiration.” Your website was 2 in the search returns and I started reading through the tears that won’t stop flowing. I am a 50 year old woman who has done nothing BUT overcome every challenge that has come my way in life and with a resilient determination that it became signature Of my personality. But since Jan 2012 I have lost 4 jobs. 1 was a bullied situation I predicted would occur once I stood up to the situation (and it did within 45 days)the 2nd was a scheduling mishap that I chose not to fight the battle because I was awarded unemployment and was in the last year of completing my Master’s. The following 2 were because of tardies. I am late for everything. Even when I started out early I experienced honest legitimate car problems in both jobs and would be let go in the orientation phase. Without adequate income my vehicle repairs have never been fully resolved. I have been a nurse 30 years and can’t find work because of the events of 2 horrific years. Caring for others is all i know, it has provided me with purpose, fulfillment, a sense of pride and self worth. Because, I am good at it and it is a career that serves others. Today I am barely surviving by selling things online (which I do enjoy). But it is not financially supportive enough for my debts. What is wrong with me? It is as if I self sabotage and now I am so very depressed I don’t even take care of my home, or myself. And I am so overwhelmed I don’t know which way to turn or what problem to tackle first. I have paralysis by analysis and I feel like a GIANT FAILURE. I know better than this but I am drowning in pain and don’t trust myself to make the right decisions. I only know that I cannot continue like this.

    • Amy says:

      Tammy, welcome to this community. Whatever has happened in your past is exactly that: your past. Let this be your beginning. Let this be the time you leave that all behind and start fresh. I only hope that you’ll let us inspire your journey.

  4. […] 3 mindset-changes to make any situation suck less […]

  5. Maria says:

    I have been in a bad place for over a year. I was on medication that was working for 15 years and then crash. I have fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue which resulted in losing my job of 8 years, I was discriminated and hired an attorney twice. I was a dedicated employee but it didn’t matter in the end. I found a temporary job within a week. Most of my employment has been in the accounting/bookkeeping field in the law industry.
    The temporary position was filling in for an employee on maternity leave for 3 months. I loved it. Before my term was up, I felt ill and resulted in calling 911,
    I even had to fight the idiot of the er doctor who wanted to send me home. I asked her to to a nasal swab to see if I had the flu. Not only was it influenza but I also had bacterial pneumonia and placed in ICU for seven days. I reported the ER doctors
    actions, nothing done, I was placated. I was out of any type of work for 3 months before the infectious disease doctor released me from his care. I had to build up my immune system. I was so excited I could now go and visit my daughter, husband and my darling grandchildren. The day before leaving I missed a step and broke my ankle in multiple places, was bed ridden for 2 weeks, never got to see my kids. Are you tired yet? :) I have been treated for anxiety and depression my most of my adult life. These medical events that occurred, I just kept strong and kept a positive attitude. That was September of 2014. January 2015 I found a job which sounded great and excited to start. Ready for this one? The person I worked for was owner of the company little did I know she was a control freak, condescending and would make excuses to train me on anything. One of her monumental comments “if I train you, you will have questions, and I am too busy to answer your questions, well bitch, why did you hire me? Then a camera was installed to watch what everyone was doing. That is when the depression hit the camera, she wouldn’t train me and the job resulted in my scanning file after to file electronically do dispose of the paper. She found fault with everything that I did. This never happened before, the depression became so bad I didn’t want the sun to come in the morning,God how horrible. I would go to work and just sit there and cry. I contacted my primary care and she recommended a psychiatrist close to where I was working. She was in her early thirties a cold hearted beach and I told her, “I am telling you now put me on disabilty, She signed me up for an 8 week program “IOP” intestive out patient care and changed my meds which made my feel shiftier One day I am in bed and cannot get out of it because of the fibro which she had put me on cymbalta. I contacted her and she started screaming at me for calling her. NICE! . I told her off and told her she was a cold hearted bitch and she would never see me again. I wound up seeing 4 more psyciatrits all supposedly top in their field. .They all sucked and were useless. I said to myself you are not giving up until you find someone to help you.
    I would cry for know reason at all. It is really shitty. Then the next job I found in June of 2015 for a CPA firm, love the work and the people, the only downside was the ass I worked for was bipolar. I never knew who I was going to be working with one day to another, He bullied employees including me and we were verbally abused.
    It was here we go again! He was married to a social worker get this,…… on Christmas Eve he put up a tree for his children. When they woke on Chirstmas morning and opened their presents he took the tree down and put it on the side walk. Sick???? You better believe it. He thought it was so cool he even took pictures of the tree. I told him his children were being traumatized by this. Ten months go by and all I hear from him is that i was not meeting his expectations. Earlier I had taken photos of my work load so I had proof of the work load. I was working 50 hours a week, For months he denies our dept needed more help. One morning whichever personality he became he informs me he realizes we are short handed and was putting an ad in the classified for an assistant. The crying wouldn’t stop when I left there. I knew something was way wrong here. I was let go and he told me he just loved the person who I was (I knew the firing was taking place the HR Director was in the office. He hated doing what he was doing and further proceeded to tell me I would get 2 weeks severance pay. I just didn’t meet his expectation. I didn’t even show any emotion. Forgot to mention 2 people before me left because of him. Also a month before the firing I had surgery for a torn rotator cuff, I found out I have a tear in my miniscus and bad arthritis in both knee caps and would need gel injections, scheduled for next week. good news the physcial therapy and my PT are phenominal. I am not a person who dwells on illness, but this was alot of you know what to go through. Additionally found out I have 2 pretty horrible cataracts in both eyes. At this time I cannot see out of one eye. I still would not give up and find a psychiatrist who could help the other wanted me to take antiseizure and anit something else. I refused!!!!!! I found the psyciatrist who helped me 30 years ago was still in practice. God Bless him and his assistant!!!! He altered my meds slightly agreed I did not need mood stabilizers that were treating seizures and right now cannot remember the other. The constant crying has stoppped. He said to me take a look at what you have endured in the past two years, who wouldnt feel like you do.
    He reminded me that I never gave up on anything and always fought for a solution.
    I love this man. I am now to track what brings on my sadness and lonliness and he was going to teach me how to turn around my way of thinking. I found Amy by accident, I adore her. She gives me inspiration and hope and reminds us that this isnt forever. This is scary to me something like this has never lasted so long, I remember my doctor reminding me of all I have endured and that it takes a toll on your mind and body. It will take time to heal. I can relate to everything Amy writes about. She has been where I am. I am truly thankful I found her by accident. I really love her and how real she is. Her blogs I print out and keep them with me for strength and encouragement. My new mantra is “this is not forever” Thank you Amy for giving me hope. XOXOXOX Good luck to each and everyone of us that fight each day. I will get better. Bless you all. Didn’t realize I was going to write this long. I am afraid I will not feel better, but I am repeating this is not forever!

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