The F**k 'Em Principle: Why You Should Stop Caring About What Others Think

My mom is a character.  She is extremely opinionated, stubborn, and passionate.  Yes, EXTREMELY all of those traits listed.  She can't be wrong, and if you call her out on anything, she pouts.  She turns some people off sometimes because her personality is so strong... but she's ok with that.  One thing she taught me- which took me a while to fully understand, and I am constantly working on- was the f**k 'em principle.  "Who cares what anyone else thinks, Honey?"  she'd ask me after a day of being bullied in middle school for being somewhat different than the rest of the kids.  "F**k 'em!"Though it was hard for me to adapt that principle into everyday life at 12 years old, when every emotion depends on what your peers think of you, I thank my mom to this day for teaching me that individualism is what makes the world beautiful and interesting.  Caring what others think about you is a waste of energy most of the time.  There is always going to be someone that has something to say.  Knowing that, why would you spend any time trying to please everyone?  Do yourself a favor and be true to who you are without regard to how others will react.I've come across a number of people that are scared to be seen.  Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone conformed to a certain look and taste?  If everyone used the same mannerisms and was polite all the time, do you know how boring that would be?  Ask yourself, why should you hide when there are others out there thriving in their uniqueness?  YOU ARE DIFFERENT.  And that's a good thing!Now, how can you go from hiding in the shadows to starting to live your life confidently in your true skin?  These are some of the ways I've seen it work:

Go Cold Turkey

When I decided it was time to stop caring what the world thought of me and start being myself, I was in high school and had had ENOUGH of the hiding!  I did a 180 (as I tend to do) and flipped seemingly overnight from nerdy A-student hiding in the corner to loud, punk-rock girl that no one missed in the front.  You don't have to go that extreme by any means, but simply changing your mindset to that of, "F**k 'em," can open up a world of freedom.  Face those fears and have confidence in who you are.  As long as you are true to yourself, you can't go wrong.

Take Baby Steps

You can do this incrementally, too.  Is it a bit too scary to take that monster leap?  Try picking one thing per week that will lead you closer to living fully in your self.  What sets you apart?  Do you wish you could stand up for yourself more or express yourself creatively, but are scared what others may think of you if you do?  Life is not about wishing- it's about doing!  Take steps toward your ultimate goals by implementing one small change now.  Tomorrow, if you have an inkling to voice your opinion, DO IT!  Just once can open the floodgates and show you that the consequences are more rewarding or at least less frightening than they initially appeared.

The Difference Between Good F**k 'Em and Bad F**k 'Em

I want to make very sure that you understand that I am promoting being true to yourself without fear, and NOT encouraging you to be rude and disrespectful toward others.  When I first started being my full self, I was a teenager full of raging hormones and I was mad at the world.   I started lashing out at my peers and my teachers, demanding that I be heard.  That is NOT how I recommend you go about this.  There are many ways to show who you are while staying kind and considerate, and those are the ways I hope you'll try.  Be clear in your views and respectful that other people have opinions too.  They are entitled to them just as much as you are.Whether you're really shy like I used to be, or a boisterous extrovert, you should be able to benefit from actively looking for ways to be more of yourself every day.  Fitting in is not our priority here.  Feel good being yourself, and you will add more value to the world than you ever could trying to be "normal."  Who's really normal anyway?  Be proud of your bit of abnormal- everybody has theirs!  Find your own fit and shine!To you being you and me being me,Amy