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Quitting “I Can’t”

You’d be surprised the amount of times I hear, “I can’t,” every day…

“I can’t lift that”

“I can’t stop eating that”

“I can’t think like that”

“I can’t make time for that”

“I can’t do this”

In the past, I’d listen to them and seriously consider the person’s argument, trying to suggest another way to do what they were trying to do more easily. It led to further excuses and in the end, failure to accomplish what they set out to do. I let them fail because I was afraid to push them too hard.

Nowadays, I still listen, but I more than often call bull on them. Unless the person physically cannot accomplish what I am asking them to do, I tell them that they indeed can do what I am asking…

“I can’t lift that” - Ok, take a breather for a second, then lift it. If you literally can’t, then we’ll go down in weight.

“I can’t stop eating that” – Oh really? Why not? Were you advised by your physician to keep up your cookie diet? Is there a medical or physical reason you cannot stop eating that processed, over-sugared junk that belongs nowhere close to your 90%?

“I can’t think like that” – Why not? Have you tried? Have you actually given the effort to reframing your mindset? Have you done exercises, tried to correct yourself when you start thinking in a different way, or become aware at all of the way you’re thinking now and that it needs to change? It takes time to develop this habit; you can’t change it overnight. Keep working at it.

“I can’t make time for that” – I’ve come across very few people who actually have no leeway for altering their schedules to accomodate healthy habits. No time to work out or eat healthy? Bull. I’ve written quite a few posts that dismiss this myth. Go here here and here for proof.

“I can’t do this” – Who says so? You? How do you know if you’ve never tried all the way to the end? You either try and fail, or you try and win. If the only reason you’ve failed is for lack of trying, try again.

The only person keeping you from changing your life for good is you.

Over the past year or two, the “I can’t” mindset has become more prevalent. It worries me that people are doubting themselves so much that they’re making excuses to fail. That’s exactly what the declaration of “I can’t” is.

I want to go over why your argument is invalid, and why it’s one of the worst things to tell yourself when going after a dream. I hope I can show you the way to quit “I can’t” for good so that you can finally reach your potential.

Where is your energy going?

If you are constantly saying, “I can’t,” when it comes to accomplishing your goals, take a step back and ask yourself, “What side am I arguing for? Do I really want to accomplish this?”

By telling yourself that you are not capable of reaching your goals, you are putting the energy you should be spending on striving toward your goal into the creation of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Quitting “I can’t” and instead saying, “Yes, I can,” will empower you to keep reaching, striving, and taking the necessary risks to accomplish those things you never have before.

Reaching outside your comfort zone is necessary to achieve lasting change. It’s going to feel scary. It’s going to be hard. But if you don’t do it, you’re going to stay where you are right now, forever.

Take the energy you’re spending on “I can’t,” and put it all into finding a way to make it happen.

Look at the evidence

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I physically able to do this?
  • Am I miserable doing this? If so, is the payoff worth the misery of the moment?
  • Do I still want what I am going after?

Write the answers to these questions down on paper every now and then to remind yourself that you indeed CAN keep going. If ever you start answering that you physically can’t, that the misery isn’t worth it, or that you don’t really want to achieve this goal anymore, then have the courage to let this dream go. Sometimes dreams need to be put away, maybe to be picked up again later and maybe just left for good.

If you are miserable without just cause, back away and find what makes you happy again.

Your Can Isn’t Anyone Else’s

I never give up on my clients because they, like you, have all the potential in the world if they just allow themselves to see it.

Wanna hear something cool? Every single one of my clients that does what I say gets the results they’re after.

Here’s how: no one’s program is the same. When I develop a program, I take all the client’s goals, personality traits, preferences, schedule, body type and imbalances into account before I put pen to paper. This makes every program personalized and thus, highly effective.

I know you can accomplish what you’re setting out to do because everyone can. You just need to find what works for you like I do with my clients.

You need to tell yourself you can and believe it. Then, take action toward finding the best way to achieve what you want.

You’re going to fail at some things so that you can find success in others. Know that, and the failures will be less debilitating.

*****

The next time you feel like saying, “I can’t,” take the steps above, then tell yourself:

Empower yourself to achieve more than you ever have before with these 3 words. Stop giving yourself the excuse to fail and instead, create the space to succeed.

‘Til next time, friends…

In strength,

Amy

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4 Responses to “Quitting “I Can’t””

  1. Christine says:

    Amy, reading this post was like exhaling after holding my breath for weeks. Thank you.

  2. Dave says:

    Nice post! We have a similar approach when our young kids say they can’t do something, and we try to get them to stop using the “can’t” word, and replace it with something more positive, or even something as simple as “Can you help me with this please?”. It is incredible seeing how a simple change of words creates a change of mindset.

    • Amy says:

      Welcome to Strong Inside Out, Dave!

      I love that philosophy! I train a preschool teacher and am so happy to hear the changes that have been made since I was in school. Everything seems to have been reframed toward more empowering and positive methods. Thanks for doing so with your kids as well. When they grow up to be beautifully strong and compassionate human beings that help others, you can say, “I had a hand in that.” :)

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