If you’re here on SIO, it’s highly likely that you’re an empath which means you may not know how to protect yourself from negative energy.
Empaths are people that take on the emotional state of the people they’re around.
For instance, Sally The Empath feels good when she wakes up in the morning. She goes into work bright and chipper only to run into a coworker who woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Her coworker is rude and short with her as she complains about how this day is “going to suck.” Sally walks away from the interaction feeling like she took on her coworker’s energy; now she’s dreading the rest of the day, feeling angry that she has to be there and feeling antisocial.
People sometimes call empaths “overly sensitive”…and they’re right. BUT, there’s nothing wrong with that!
Empaths have the ability to feel emotions quite deeply, which means joy and love hit them all that much harder, too. Being an empath is nothing to be ashamed of nor is it anything you have to “fix.” It’s something to acknowledge in yourself while also being mindful of your emotional safety.
Being an empath is dangerous when you don’t know how to protect your energy. At this time of year when family (aka the ultimate trigger) is around more than usual and coworkers and friends are more stressed than usual, it can become blaringly clear whether you know how to protect yourself emotionally or not.
My holiday gift to you is this basic how-to for protecting yourself without having to shut others out completely – a mistake many of us empaths make when we don’t know how to protect ourselves otherwise. By following this process, I hope that you’ll be able to enjoy the presence of those you like and love without having to feel everything they feel!
The How-To: Protect Yourself from Negative Energy
The first step to protecting yourself from negative energy is to call out (and in) the energy you wish to have. These first 3 steps work best if you do it on your own before interacting with anyone (like first thing in the day or before you go into a situation that you know may be full of wacky energy).
Here’s the simple process to hone your own energy before social situations:
1. Call out what’s present for you.
Close your eyes and imagine you are sitting in a bubble of your own energy. Imagine what it looks like, where it emanates from and how far it extends from your body. What’s present for you right now? What are you feeling? What is your energy like?
2. Call in the energy you want.
If your energy is not what you want it to be, inhale the energy you want, and exhale what you want to release. Take some deep breaths, consciously imagining the energy you want entering your body through your inhales, and the energy you wish to release exiting with your exhales. Repeat this until you feel like your energy is clean.
3. Declare your protection.
With a short mantra, declare in your mind how you wish to protect your energy. For me, it helps to say this: “Let theirs be theirs, let mine be mine. I don’t have to take that on.” As you go into social situations where other people’s energy may be volatile or otherwise contagious, repeat this mantra to remind yourself of your commitment.
Many of us empaths are also people pleasers. For us hybrids, it’s doubly tough to keep our energy protected because we want so much to help those around us.
Declaring that it’s not necessary for you to take on other people’s energy is essential for committing to sticking to your side of the street. You don’t have to fix their energy or take it on for them. You just get to be who you are, standing strong in the energy of your own creation.
The next two steps are to be taken during social interactions with people whose energy you wish not to take on.
4. Recognize that their energy is all theirs.
The next step to protecting your energy is to recognize that other people’s energy is all theirs. This step is taken when you are in the presence of someone’s energy that you don’t want to take on.
Just as you visualized your own energy, now imagine their energy beaming out from their core into a sort of bubble around them. Notice that that their energy bubble stops at a certain point – it does not reach you if you don’t want it to.
Visualize that you are safe from their energy bubble. Repeat your mantra in your mind for extra protection: “Let theirs be theirs, let mine be mine. I don’t have to take that on.”
5. What to do if you have taken in unwanted energy.
Like all self development work, you can’t begin an expert! You will likely take in some energy even while doing this process in the beginning.
First, show yourself some compassion. Negative energy is a succubus for more negative energy. It fuels itself on anger, hatred, judgment, sadness and disappointment. When you beat yourself up for not being perfect, you feed the succubus! Don’t give it that satisfaction; be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that you tried and that this is a work in progress.
Next, use the very same process you used before you came into this interaction:
- Call out what’s present for you. What have you taken on?
- Call in the energy you want with an inhale, and release this unwanted energy with an exhale.
- Declare your protection by repeating your mantra in your head. You may even want to tweak it a bit with something like: “Let their energy return to them. I do not need to hold this.”
- Repeat steps 2 and 3 until your energy feels clean again.
You may want to do this process in a bathroom or bathroom stall. You are worth the time it takes to feel the way you want to feel even if that means stepping away when you’re busy. It is not selfish to protect yourself.
Even though I’ve practiced this process for a while now, I still find myself taking in the energy of others. Sometimes I forget to do it until I’ve already taken in unwanted energy. Sometimes I’m just “overly sensitive” and find that my boundaries are blasted open the entire day.
What I’m working on doing with myself is something I hope you will employ as well: know that trying is a triumph. Know that standing up for your wellbeing is a worthy and courageous cause.
We’ve spent our whole lives beating ourselves up for being too sensitive. The simple awareness and action in the face of habit is enough to warrant pride in my book.
Feeling the shift from this process? Adventure deeper with me
It’s mindset-changing work like this that really fires me up as a teacher and coach (just check out my Facebook Live Video all about this topic with Kate Marolt here!). To witness your transformation just by slightly shifting the way you perceive your role in life fulfills me to no end.
If mind-opening shifts like this are what you want as well, it would give me great pleasure to have you with us in Costa Rica.
Activate Courage is a week-long women’s retreat in breathtaking Nosara, Costa Rica that I’m hosting with my soul sister, Kate Marolt. Join us and 15 other women for a week of belief-breaking, courage-awakening, life-changing workshops, yoga and mantra-based bootcamp classes and intimate coaching with Kate Marolt and me.
Not only will we open you up to the life you want and deserve during this week, we’re ensuring your transformation with 6 months of online coaching afterwards. With group coaching calls, a private online support system, and materials to solidify everything you learned in Costa Rica, we will guide you when you’re back in “the real world” to release fear-based limitations and finally honor the bold, fearless woman that rests within.
I want so much for you to finally open up to the work you’ve been brought here to do. I want you to feel the light that shines from within you as I see and experience it.
Kate and I are taking care to hold space for each and every woman who joins us. I hope you’ll come to realize how much we care for you.
I know it’s a commitment, both financially and time-wise. It’s my belief that your life demands such a commitment, with this experience or on your own. I owe my awakening to multiple guides along the way. I’d be honored to be such a guide for you.
For more information about Activate Courage, click here.
Wishing you every bit of happiness (and safety) for your holiday!